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Thursday 20 May 2010

He's gone...

My client passed away over a week ago... I'm glad I saw him when I did.
I wanted to visit him again a week later, but my spirit said "No". Something didn't feel right...the next day he was gone. I believe God prevented me from a difficult experience if I did visit. Nobody expected it so soon.

We're still all waiting to hear funeral details...we've gone from expecting a quick funeral (within 2-3days), to hearing it may be 2 weeks after his death. So many variables I didn't realise existed... eg, family needs to release the body, notices cannot be printed in the paper until a family has placed one first... and other things I don't really understand... 'red tape' in some ways, 'just life' in other ways.

It's harder on our clients than our staff...it must be harder to understand and accept when you have an intellectual disability. Some of our guys don't even seem to care that he's gone, but I know they do. They just don't understand as much. That's not a bad thing. They deal with it differently.

I had to explain to one client that he shouldn't get upset when others don't get upset like he does - because they don't understand the way he does. He seemed ok with that. It was a good small chat. He has taken it hard. The deceased man and he had known each other 15years. Then suddenly he's gone. We can understand, and we know it seems unfair that people get sick and die suddenly... but these guys don't seem to be able to accept the unfairness of life as easily. It has definitely been an interesting, and at times, stressful time.

In the end, I know God has His plans, and we don't need to know the details...but yes, it does seem unfair that people with intellectual disabilities have to go through the same sicknesses as others... even if it's not fair that anybody gets sick, these people don't have the intellectual capacity to understand what's going on....so it must be far more scary for them.... It just seems cruel...but when you put them in the same box as the rest of humanity... no labels, no differences... then it makes sense... they too have family medical histories and are more susceptible to various conditions... so in the end, they're not being singled out or protected. "Nature" shows no favourites... that's just life.

This man did have the capacity to understand the sickness etc, but he didn't necessarily understand why the doctors and nurses did/didn't do things... one reason is some apparently didn't even try to explain the procedures...they just treated him as they would any patient...which is also not a bad thing in general, but it's horrible when you know a person doesn't understand like the average patient.

I just hope his last days were less stressful and he died peacefully...

2 comments:

Mike Messerli said...

thanks for the post. sorry to hear about this person's death.

Robyn said...

Thanks Mike :)
We just found out his funeral is 2 weeks after his death... this Tuesday. I'm hoping it helps one man with closure. We've all been a bit anxious about 'finishing' it all.