Sunday, May 13, 2018

Mothers Day 2018

So today is Mothers Day... 2018 has already been a difficult year, & it's only May.

This year we lost our beautiful mum/mother in law. Honestly, I'm glad she's dancing with the angels this Mothers Day...but my heart misses her so deeply. She suffered greatly with MND, but maintained a positive attitude & strong faith in God. I wish she was still here, & we could skype and chat...but that is no longer possible. It would be selfish to want to keep her on this earth, knowing how much MND stole from her... so we rejoice that she is with her saviour.

As much as it's hard not having physical children on Mothers Day, I think it's harder not having a mum... I feel too young to have lost a parent... and many much younger than me have lost parents. But life goes on. We hold on to the memories. The many wonderful memories, & thank God for blessing us with wonderful parents...for however long they are here.

Monday, December 25, 2017

Christmas 2017

Merry Christmas from sunny Melbourne! Where the only sign of snow is on tv shows...
While most homes were filled with joy & laughter, of excited children rushing out of bed to see what's under the tree... my home is quiet. The sounds of birds chirping outside, and tv occasionally break the silence.

I haven't blogged about this before... but this is how we've rolled for 9 years... just the 2 of us. The first part of those 9 years was ok. We weren't really bothered by the quietness... but this is our 4th Christmas, wondering if it will be last one with just the 2 of us... because the quietness of our home is not our choice. While we are surrounded by friends & family with children...we are left wondering when our turn will come... the journey we've been travelling these last 4 years is not one for the weak... and there are so many others, silently travelling on this same journey... So. Many.

So, again I ask if this is the last one... and place my trust in my creator... who has given us a promise... but not a time.

If you're a fellow traveller on the unexplained infertility journey, know you're not alone. We'll keep pushing on. Maybe this time next year will be different... only God knows...

Sunday, December 17, 2017

2017... peace amidst the storms.

I keep hearing the prompts to reignite the flame of my writing... however... I haven't allowed the fuel to perform it's job... partly due to busyness & partly simple laziness... & then there is the sense of protecting those I love... which stops me in my tracks..

This time last year, I was hopeful that the tragedies & traumas of 2016 were behind us... then after Christmas we were given the devastating news that a beloved family member had been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease (MND). So 2017 has been a new journey... This Christmas will be the first year without 3 family members who passed away in 2016... and also the one year mark of the diagnosis.

After 19 years' experience working in the disability field, I found myself in an unfamiliar place. I learned what it was like to cross over from Carer to Family Member.
As a carer, I worked in many places, including homes for people with mid and end stage Huntington's Disease, & individuals with Multiple Sclerosis. I spent 8 years working 1:1 with an amazing man who has an undiagnosed regressive condition- my heart broke when he rapidly lost control of his body... I would go home and cry... he has the most amazing, positive attitude.

In the homes, I was able to care for the individuals, then go home without a significant attachment. I would wonder how the families coped, seeing their family members "disappearing". It was hard to see, but I was not one of them.
Until a year ago.
I crossed over from carer to family member. No experience prepares you for the heartbreak of your loved one's diagnosis... experience HAS helped me to understand the medical side of what they're going through, and to feel peaceful in knowing which stage they are at. But it's so hard to see the disease progress. It feels so unfair. Even if "the rain falls on the just and the unjust" (Matt. 5:45). Sometimes I wish it didn't rain at all...

So that is one big part of our journey through 2017.
There is so much I could write, but I will leave it here.

There are other, more personal parts of the journey that can wait for another day....

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Australia Day & ONE man's DREAM

On this Australia Day, almost one year after my nonno's passing, I am reminded how ONE MAN'S DREAM can impact generations. 

A young man in Treviso, Italy dreamed of migrating to Australia...and he DID. He worked hard for a year to bring his love here, married her a day later and raised a family here. So because of his dream, I am not only here, I am Australian. I miss my nonno, and I am blessed by HIS dream 💙

But the story goes deeper still... Nonno was mum's father. On dad's side, his great, great grandfather was also a young man in South-East Ireland- who had the same dream! So both these men had a God-given dream...generations apart... but clearly all part of God's plan for future generations.

It makes me wonder, if either of these men didn't follow their dreams...would I even be here? 
Wow. Just Wow... 

Monday, January 2, 2017

2017

Happy New Year!
I can't believe 2016 has only one post...partly because I was busy, and partly because I had trouble logging back in.

Well, maybe that is also a reflection of the kind of year it was... very challenging, on many levels.
Not long ago, when I was speaking to my pastor about our challenges, she said, "There is no victory without a battle".. so here I am, in the second day of a new year, knowing that victory is inevitable!

At the end of 2015, I asked God for a word for 2016. My personal theme word. He gave me JOY. It was definitely a word in season. Despite the challenges of 2016, I never lost my joy. As true as this is for ALL days, and ALL seasons, The joy of the Lord truly was my strength in 2016.

This year my word is HOPE. I didn't focus much on asking for this word...He began to instil it in my heart towards the last few months of 2016.

So, as I continue to stay strong in the joy of my Lord, I now maintain my HOPE in Him.

2016 was possibly one of the toughest years of my life to date...but I know it was a season. Seasons end. Now the season of 2017 has begun, and I know the challenges of 2016 have only made me stronger...I look forward to the answers and opportunities in 2017.

One thing I know without a doubt, is I married the right man. 2016 was tough for both of us, but we were strong in unity. We never lost our joy for more than a moment, and we were blessed many times through God's provision and protection. When the waves were crashing around us, we were secure on the Rock.

If you are still single, don't rush to marry - the RIGHT one is well worth the wait! (That is another story ;) ) 

Monday, April 25, 2016

Kangaroo & a father's influence

A few weeks ago I was driving home from a wedding, with my husband in the passenger seat. It was a pitch black country road. The only light was from my car's headlights or those of an approaching car on the other side.

I knew kangaroos were expected to hop across these roads, but didn't think they'd be around at 10.45pm... then out nowhere, in my peripheral vision I saw a huge grey shadow... and instinctively knew it was a kangaroo, and we were about to be hit!!

I was amazed that, in the moment, my dad's words spoken in general conversation came to the surface of my mind, and without thinking, I instinctively knew what to do. I did NOT brake hard and I did NOT try to avoid the kangaroo. I gradually slowed down & braced for impact.

For those unfamiliar with kangaroos, I guess it would be like hitting a bull or deer. Many deaths have been caused by drivers trying to avoid the animal, and crashing into a tree or something else.

The kangaroo hit my side of the car - snapped off my mirror and dented the whole side of my car - pushed the mirror across the window, and ricocheted off the other end of my car.

We just looked at each other, like ,"What just happened!!" and then kinda laughed at how calm we were. My husband got out of the car and retrieved the mirror, but the kangaroo was nowhere in sight. Neither was any blood or signs of injury. Just souvenir fur where the mirror used to be.

We made it home safely and knew it could have been much, much worse. We both knew God was protecting us. If the kangaroo had hit from the front, I would not have a car, and possibly be injured or worse...

All the next day, I had the verse in my head, "I have hidden your word in my heart, so that I might not sin against you" (Psalm 119:11).

How amazing...the love of a father...their words of wisdom are stored in our hearts and minds. Many times we don't realise just how much we have stored...then a day comes where we NEED that advice & direction.

When the attacks come, we instinctively don't freak out. We remain calm and know how to act. Because the wisdom has been stored in our minds & hearts (Ephesians 6:13).

A good reminder to keep feeding on His Word.




Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Revival of Spiritual Gifts

This morning as I was praying for the church, I had a vision of santa's workshop. The elves were busy, working hard to make sure all the gifts were ready for the appointed time, Christmas day. I had the sense that there are many SPIRITUAL GIFTS that are currently being prepared for people to receive for the appointed time. Not Christmas. For Revival in the church. 

Further to this, I saw many gifts that had already been given in the past, but were neglected, like a toy received at Christmas, but only enjoyed briefly before being forgotten. Some had been put on the shelf and forgotten about. Some had been ignored. Some had been misued or misunderstood. Some had even been abused by others, causing them to shut down. Some had simply not been recognised. The time is coming where life will be breathed back into these gifts. 


There are many dreams yet to come to pass. We are entering a time of Revival of gifts, dreams and visions in the church. A time of Renewal and seeing many heart's desires finally fulfilled. Don't give up on your dreams and promises! Don't believe the lie that you are insignificant, or not good enough. Or even that your past makes you unworthy. The brightest diamonds don't just appear. They go through a refining process - many people can relate to being in the Refiner's fire - don't be afraid to be seen. It is time to wake up and SHINE!!