Sunday, December 29, 2013

December thoughts

Wow... where did December go? Where did the year go?? I did eventually get into the Christmas spirit... and I must say how amazed I was to see and feel that people generally picked up on the spirit of joy & goodwill, etc. Initially I was disappointed that people were showing much selfishness and anger towards others...on the road, in car parks, in the shops...then I was pleasantly surprised by the change...there was a real joy in the air, everywhere I went! It was awesome :) Christmas was an interesting time. Happy memories and many changes. It was a good time. I never expected to say this, but I am looking forward to the end of this season....and the beginning of a new year. Much has happened this year...many changes. I expect more changes in the new year, but different changes. I am looking forward to closing the door of 2013 behind me, and walking through the door of 2014. I know it holds great things - some things were not available until we lived through 2013. Now it's time to take hold of the new :) A new season is about to begin, and I'm ready!

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Vent

Sometimes life is just frustrating. You do the best you can and for some it is exactly right, for others it's completely wrong! I'm so fed up with trying to do things to the best of my ability and being attacked by somebody who hasn't been through the issue, for not dealing with it right. What else am I supposed to do?

I am supposed to forgive and forget... show grace when I want to show anger... let it go... get over it.
In the end, I can't say I didn't try my best. If it's not good enough for somebody else, it doesn't mean it's not good enough :) I can only use my own 'bag of tricks'. Maybe their bag has a better method, but it's not in my bag. I do the best with what I have. I am accountable to God. He knows I try! 

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Christmas spirit...

It's December! Only 2.5 weeks left to work...and I have no interest in putting up the Christmas tree... This is strange... maybe I'm just too busy to care about the non-necessary things... it's a bit sad, because I honestly don't care if I have a tree up or not... it's also summer and I've had enough of the heat...
Maybe I'll catch the Christmas spirit soon ;) 

Monday, November 25, 2013

Change

This has been an interesting year... lots of change! Some expected, some anticipated, some that came completely left of centre! Even some change that was hoped for, but seemed so far away... whether or not the change felt good, it was always good.

This has been a big season...lots of growth... lots of frustration...lots of inspiration...a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. Did I say there has been lots of growth? haha!

That's really all I want to say right now. Have a great day :)

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Still, small voice & my will

It's funny how you can stop doing something ONCE, with every intention of returning...and then a second time you don't do it, for a good reason...and the 3rd or 4th time in a row you don't do it...next time, you CAN'T do it...

I had every intention of doing something, and I was getting ready to do it...but I just couldn't... I had been feeling neutral about it all day, and right when I was getting ready, I heard that still, small voice... saying I didn't need to do it... and my intellectual side was confused by that...so I asked for clear confirmation.

Well...as I was reaching the point where I needed to make the decision or run out of time...I began feeling sick and anxious...and clammy... this has never happened to me...at least not for something I thought was good... the more I thought about doing this thing, the more sick I felt...until I just said, "Ok, I'm not doing it!"

In the past I would have felt compelled to do this thing, and guilty if I didn't want to do it. But not in this current season. It is a strange feeling knowing that something that used to be a big part of your life...is not so important in this season... not that it isn't important! Just not for me... for now... 

Monday, October 21, 2013

Friends...reason, season or lifetime

Today I bumped into 2 old friends in the same centre. One was excited to see me - and I her! The other only warranted a respectful hello, and nothing more. Isn't it funny how people change.

One friend organised a catch up (because I was working at the time), and the other was simply 'there'.
All my life I have seen the relevance of the concept that

FRIENDS are for
a reason;
a season;
or a lifetime.  

During the last 2 years I have seen this so clearly....and sometimes it has been quite sad to let friends go. But when you remember this concept, it is much easier to accept the changes.
Sometimes you don't want to let friends go, but trying to keep them seems to take up more emotional energy than God expects of us. That's when you need to let them go. When the emotional drain and strain are not worth the results you receive. When you know you've tried, but it seems nothing will change unless the other person also tries. So you need to let them go. It's also true of the quote: "If you love something/somebody let them go". It's not easy...but sometimes it's all you can do. Sometimes they return...others times they do not. They are the reason and seasonal friends. While the reason or season was ripe, the friendship was too. But once the reason or season came to an end...you had the accept the inevitable....and let them go.

Sometimes I wonder whether we are to let friends go because we need to make room for new ones...for new seasons in our lives... other times I can see that friends who I truly valued, were only in my life for a short time. Not because they were bad people, but their purpose in my life, and mine in theirs was no longer required. Unfortunately, sometimes these friends have become 'dark' and tried to put black in my rainbows...but God designed the rainbows - and helped me to remove the black, or removed the black himself.

I must admit that some of the blackest ones have previously been some of the brightest colours. But they were only seasonal friends... there is no longer a place in my rainbow for them. But that is ok. I understand the reasons. Sometimes it hurts to let friends go... but it is the only option.

Sometimes friends who never really left, but drifted away... return when you least expect!

I need to remind myself of the good times with some old friends. The enemy loves to try to cause rifts and hurts, but when you remember God's purposes, you know everything works together for good (Rom 8:28).

Having said that, I'm looking forward to catching up with my old friend again :)

Picture: httpsencrypted-tbn1.gstatic.comimagesq=tbnANd9GcSJBYo6AJNlmEaWDyb84Miqb1dI_OPlseDs3IebtGOAZbgsMjoX0w

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Joel 2:25

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten    the great locust and the young locust,    the other locusts and the locust swarm—my great army that I sent among you". (Joel 2:25. NIV)
Picture: http://www.afrol.com/images/symbols/

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

T.D. Jakes

I had a day off today... I enjoyed staying home and getting into some de-cluttering...a daunting task for a girl who attracts organised chaos! But I am proud of myself for what I managed to get done :)

So, I sat down this morning with a cup of tea, and started listening to T.D. Jakes...from a link on my Facebook page. It was awesome...I found myself feeling quite sad when the message finished...I was hungry for More!

Often when my husband has a Rostered Day Off work, I come home from work to see him spending time with Mr Jakes. It's encouraging to see your loved one getting spiritually fed by somebody as deep as Mr Jakes. It encourages me to keep growing too :)

So today was my turn. It was soooo good... I ended up playing about 3 different messages (loud! lol!) while cleaning around the house. I really enjoyed being 'stuck' at home today. You can't STOP long enough to really get into these things when you've been working all day. Today my mind was fresh, and my spirit ready.

During this season I am currently in, T.D. Jakes and other ministers have been encouraging me and helping me push through...I often feel alone...but I have some wonderful people in my life who help me change that feeling. This morning, there was POWER in my house! It was just awesome!!!

Here are a few quotes I loved...

You always know God has an assignment for you when the enemy sends an assassin to destroy you.
God will use Rejection to give you Direction
God is going to take you to some place you've never been, to show you something you've never seen, so that you can do something you've never done! 
No deviations, no discrepancies - just direction. That's what you want for this year of your life. Deviation: Don't sidetrack me! Discrepancy: Don't try to pull me down into confusion and chaos. I just want Direction for my life! 

I just love T.D. Jakes... He brings joy to my spirit and life into my soul!
Hallelujah!!!!!!

Monday, September 16, 2013

Can you see the pink elephant?


How would you feel if this is what you saw every time you were in a particular environment?
How would you feel if the people around you refused to acknowledge this?
It's not hard to see, is it! But it appears only a few people do see it... 

Reminds me of the story, The Emperor's New Clothes. The emperor is so proud of his new clothes, he is in denial about their origins. Others see he is wearing nothing, but he refused to acknowledge that he has wasted his money and was made to look the fool... 

It's not that anybody will look the fool by acknowledging the pink elephant...but they may look the fool if they refuse to see it at all... 

Maybe the timing is wrong...maybe the denial is too raw... maybe it's not their elephant to see... but it is there.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Unusual Vision of Peace

This is my current picture of Peace . 
I am here... but I am not alone... and I am meant to be here for this moment... 


Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Spiritual Roots

A common theme I've noticed this week has been about spirituality and how 'out there' people are in the 'not-so-out-there' denominations.

Funny thing for me is that I am in a not-so-out-there denomination, but my roots are in the pentecostal arena...(out-there). I am no longer in that arena.... which is funny because I never, ever, ever thought I'd ever end up in the Salvation Army! God had a different plan! My previous experiences with this denomination were good, but I never felt I belonged in that kind of environment. I was used to the AOG style.

However, my current church is more of an out-there version of the Salvos... more like a teenager who wants to go further than their parents.... accepts the foundations, but goes beyond. During my AOG days I would have thought a Salvo environment would not encourage my particular gifts... but I have since discovered differently!

So, I have come to the conclusion.... you can take the girl out of the pentecostal environment, but you can never take the pentecostal out of the girl! 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Beautiful Ladies

Yesterday, mum and I joined a group of ladies from a different church for a "Ladies Day". One of my church friends and her sisters were also involved, and it was wonderful.

The topic was Beautiful Inside and Out, presented by Peta Soorkia. http://www.petasoorkia.com.au/
She was great! Down to earth, unique, interesting, inspiring, encouraging... it was a day well worth living!

What I really loved about the day was that I hardly knew the people in the room, but I felt so blessed in their presence. They were a box of jewels...all different colours, but absolutely gorgeous....many of their faces shone, reflecting their spirits. It was just a lovely day. We all belonged in the jewellery box together....at least for the day. We met some great ladies, who had great wisdom and words of encouragement.

Sometimes when you give up a day for a meeting or conference like this, you come home feeling tired... like it has been a big, draining, but wonderful day. Yesterday was different. Yes, it was big and wonderful, but it was not draining at all. It was another investment of time.

I'm finding this year that when I have chosen to invest my time with women of faith, I come out feeling blessed. There are many people I need to catch up with this year...I pray each investment of time brings another time of blessing for all of us.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

More Reading... Crossing Over

I have begun and bought many books in the last month... and I have finished 2! (& begun more!)
The latest book I've finished: Crossing Over by Paul Scanlon.
This book is more about a church 'crossing over' from being old and stale, to a new and relevant church. He speaks about the different ways people react, how you will definitely find people who refuse to support you, and how you find those who surprisingly support you. It's all about change for a greater purpose.

For me, this book was more about my life, not the church. Yes, our church is going through many changes...we have new ministers who are doing an amazing job of moving the church forward, but naturally, this brings about change. There are many reactions to change...and it has been an interesting journey.

One analogy I liked was that of Onan and Tamar in the bible. Onan refused to obey the 'rules of the day'. He obeyed as far as marrying his widowed sister-in-law, Tamar, but refused to give her a child to keep the family name going. This was a cultural no-no. It could bring ridicule to the family line.
He appeared to be doing the right thing, but when nobody was looking, he 'threw away the seed', making it impossible for Tamar to have a child.

The Tamars, on the other hand, do the right thing, both behind the scenes and in public.
These are the people who 'search for God wherever he is'. They don't need somebody to tell them what is right, they know, and they seek it out for themselves.

If nothing else, the main thing I gained from this book is that I want to be a Tamar. I want to continue to seek God where he leads me... to follow and fulfil my calling... to keep moving forward... to follow the prompts even when my flesh doesn't agree with my spirit... to just keep moving forward :)



Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Contrasts in work days

Just thinking about my lovely Friday...and how completely different other days can be!
I speak about my gorgeous clients...and on another day I find myself on a completely different playing field...

I have already mentioned I work with different groups of clients... would you believe I also work with people who would have no concern if they threw us against walls or punched us because they were angry at something unrelated to us? They sometimes even laugh about it. The joys of variety!

Just this week we had somebody go into "attack mode". I was on my lunch break during the worst of it, but I still had to deal with it. Those are the days you keep your hair tied up - because one person will rip it out of your head if they were in that kind of mood... and will push you against a wall if you're in their way... I could tell you some horror stories! Some people couldn't care less if they constantly screamed in your ear or yelled at you because you weren't waiting on them hand and foot - because you have others who are quiet and patient who need your assistance.

So yes, there is much variety in my week! I only work with this group once a week. Of course, there are lovely people in that group...but the one difficult one makes it hard. When they are in a good mood, we have a wonderful day. This is definitely a "least of these" kind of thing!

It's so true...when you look for the good in something you will find it. Sometimes you just have to filter through the various levels of bad to find the good... but it is there!

Monday, July 22, 2013

Birthday

I recently had a birthday. It's funny how as you get older, gifts are nice, but you don't really care so much about gifts than friendship.

Each year, I find the meaning of a "special day" more real. In the past I used to get through a birthday, and people didn't really notice - because I enjoyed flying under the radar...  I didn't go out of my way to tell people... and I also didn't want to be expected to eat cake! haha! As somebody said to me, these days, with Facebook, texts, email, etc, birthdays seem more special - because more people take notice and send you a nice greeting. They make you feel like you matter :)

It seems the more birthdays I have at work, the more joy I get out of knowing that people know I care.
I work with a few different groups of people with disabilities. One group is my higher functioning group - the more independent group who have mild intellectual disabilities. Last birthday they made a fuss over me....

This year I was working with a higher needs group on my birthday. The other group see me in passing on that day. They knew it was my birthday...they made sure everybody else knew too!!!
They (with the help and inclusion of some other staff) bought me flowers and signed a card for me.
I remember returning from driving a bus-load of men in wheelchairs to a venue and seeing flowers on the table with a card that had my name on it. I was unsure whether I was supposed to find them, so I left them and went to assist a lady with lunch...

Next thing I know, a few of my higher clients are standing in the hallway...one looking concerned... so I asked her if she was ok...she was a little distressed because the other staff hadn't returned from another room yet.... that's when I knew it was their doing! I pretended I hadn't seen the flowers and went back to meal assisting.

Then suddenly the WHOLE group was in the doorway, and one man said, "We have a surprise!" and lo and behold...the flowers were handed to me, followed by a loud rendition of "Happy Birthday". They caused such a beautifully loud commotion, all the other people in the room were excited and happy!

So, as much as I know these guys care about me... it is so nice and heart warming when they go out of their way to make sure you know they care about you as much as you care about them.

Sometimes it is "the least of these" that really make your day! It makes you feel that what you do does make a difference to their lives.
I love these guys so much...


Friday, July 12, 2013

Hunger for knowledge Pt 2

I finished the book! (and started more....I seriously have a pile of books, all started, none finished that I keep going back to! I counted about 10 the other day!!)

What a week this has been! The book I finished was "Escaping the Cauldron" by Kristine McGuire. What an interesting, down to earth read. Such a genuine, honest writer. I loved her chat-over-coffee style of writing.

Anyway, I won't go too deeply into that today - but if you have an interest, I would definitely recommend it!

This week has been awesome... I have had some time off work...which has gone way too fast, but I've had some catch ups with some amazing ladies who really encourage me. They are the gems in my life. My mentors, my encouragers, my sisters... Yesterday I felt like I made an investment of time.
I hardly spent any time at home, and I went from one shopping centre, to another, to catch up with 2 friends.

Sometimes you just need that. The people who make you feel you've made an investment. They don't drain you. They encourage you. They drop gems into your heart. They fertilise your seeds and water the seedlings...and make sure there are no weeds in the garden... if that makes sense! They encourage you to sow more seeds...to keep watering the garden and make sure the soil is right.

I don't know if this makes any sense to you, but I am a visual thinker. I love thinking in pictures. Sometimes when I can't think of the words, I can see the picture.

There are many wonderful people in my life. If you are reading this, and I know you personally, consider yourself in this group :) 

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Hunger for knowledge

I love to read. If I had more time I would read more books... but I am not here to just read books.
Over the last few days I have entered one of my "Hunger Zones" - where I just want to read so many books, that the thought is almost overwhelming... because I am just 'hungry' for more knowledge.

So far I have 3 books I am drawn to. One I began last night and am 1/4 of the way through. Another I began about a week ago and am also 1/4 through... and another I just keep flipping through when I don't feel I have enough time or brain space to keep reading thoroughly.

I am the type of person who can begin reading up to 10 books, with bookmarks...and I go to whichever book I am in the mood to read. I don't necessarily finish the books in order of when I began reading them.
Although I do believe I will finish this one particular book either today or tomorrow....or at worst by the end of the week!

I was given a prophesy that sparked my interest... and the more I read, even just the blurbs and skimming through the books, the hungrier I became.

I am feeling extremely hungry for knowledge...but sometimes it feels like I want to read ALL the books RIGHT NOW! But you can't eat a 3 course meal in one mouthful.

Here's to a wonderful meal of words :) 

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Cocoon Phases

Recently, I was sharing about life with one of my mentors, and she suggested I'm going through a cocoon phase.. and it got me thinking... how many cocoons does one generally encounter in a lifetime... I know I've pushed out of cocoons before...it was tough...but the end results were well worth the effort! I don't think there is a definite answer because each person is different...but the fact we go through these phases means we're still living and breathing...we haven't given up. We continue to move forward.

I only look back when I want to see how far I have come. I never stay in the past, because that belongs in the past! I'm not that person any more :) I've closed the doors to past journeys...now I look through the windows when I want to compare and reflect. I don't look long because I'm not that person any more. I can now see where I have been through each phase of breaking out of the cocoon.

I was recently reminded (by somebody who has no idea!) of where I was 10-12 years ago. I found myself at the bottom of a pit. I didn't know how I ended up in a position where I could be pushed, but I was pushed. If I had any idea that I was walking too close to the edge, I would have walked away. But I was not given that chance. Instead, I found myself pushed into a place I did not want to be.

That brought me on a detour in my journey, but looking back, it was kind of a blessing because I grew as a person. Instead of being angry at God, I drew closer to him. I gained more life experience, was able to relate to others better...was able to experience JOY in a new light. What tried to destroy me, only made me stronger.

So, now as I look back to that door, I have no feelings towards it. I have no intention of returning. In fact, I handed over that key to God long ago. The only way for that door to open is if HE wills it open. So I trust in His wisdom. Believe me, there have been many times I've looked through the window near that door, or had 'slips of paper' pushed under the door...and I've wanted to open it just a crack...but I knew that was wrong. God has allowed me to see glimpses through the window, and I am encouraged that there seems to be life on the other side. I hope that window always shows good things. But, I don't need to see through it. There is a different journey on the other side of that door. It is not my journey, so I don't need to be concerned by it.

Now I'm looking towards a new future...one of pushing through this current cocoon...and finding the answers to the many questions I have...I feel as though there is a new door for me, but I am not yet ready to see it. When it does come, I will know :) I'll "keep pressing towards the goal that lies before me.." (whatever that goal is!)



Saturday, June 15, 2013

Elijah Generation

I'd like to share something I read on Facebook...quoted from John Filler via the Elijah House USA page,

It came from my good friend Kerry Knorr. I just had to agree. For those of you who are in their 30's, especially those we know and love, please hear our hearts and see the big picture without you.TUESDAY'S POST:The Elijah Generation was foretold in the early 70's, were born in the late 70's and are in their 30's now. A whole bunch of them are hiding in Obadiah's cave (1Ki.18) eating scraps from Ahab's table. Guys! Go get a testosterone shot if you need to - but build an alter! Make a place in your life for fire from heaven! The god who answers by fire - he is God.
  I don't believe I've been in Obadiah's cave, but I sure know I am part of this Elijah Generation!
I almost just scraped in, but I have no doubt of my calling. I have been feeling this stirring for some time...and I have been encouraged to do something about it. Even been encouraged to speak to people who recognise my gifts who will build me up when I need it. I've been drawn to, led to people who have encouraged me greatly in the simplest ways.

One amazing thing is that others who are not in close proximity to me have been recognising my gifts and trying to encourage me to use them in greater ways. I am grateful for these people. Sometimes I feel their suggestions are great, but the timing is wrong... but the fact they are seeing areas where I can be used and wanting me to be there with them....that is so encouraging.
In a sense, it's like God is using 'outside' people to tell me that HE is listening. HE sees my life and what is going on around me... and he continues to remind me that yes, I was created for greater things. I still don't know WHAT or HOW or even WHERE....I just know there is SOMETHING. So I am encouraged to just continue on the journey, and listen to him. I have always known I was born with purpose. I'm just waiting for him to show me more... bring on the fire from heaven! 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Armour of God


Ref: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DCoUAH75U88/UISaq1Ay1iI/AAAAAAAAAro/SK9XWbbH-kA/s1600/armor-of-god4.jpg

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Pink Elephants

Lord, I pray you reveal the pink elephants before they destroy the room...

Monday, May 13, 2013

Dreams that contradict reality

When somebody tells you they will physically do something medical professionals have stated is not possible, and you know full well why it is not possible...how would you react?

As a Christian who believes in miracles, I know it's possible....but as a professional, apart from a miracle, it is not likely...so what do you say?

This is something I am repeatedly having to deal with...
I refuse to crush people's dreams, no matter how far fetched they seem.
Without dreams, what is the point of living? Plus, as I said, I do believe in miracles.

It's like you see the rose bush and know it will grow roses...but the other person believes it will grow tulips... you can tell them rose bushes only grow roses, but they don't want to believe that. They want the tulips so much they won't accept any alternative. I don't want to see their face when the roses grow... I want to protect them from the disappointment of no tulips...but I don't think I can...




Monday, May 6, 2013

Old hobbies

After speaking with some friends who are similar ages, we've come to the realisation that when people said we had all the time in the world in our school days....they were right...
How many of you had hobbies in your pre-working life that you just don't seem to have time for now?
It seems so silly that it's obvious....that we're so busy trying to make a living, meet commitments and get through each day, that we've forgotten what it's like to be free to do what used to come naturally...

Examples are drawing...painting...playing an instrument...writing...sewing... craft... the simple joys of childhood...

Maybe it's time to think about making room in our lives for the old simple pleasures again...
It's easier said than done! ;) 

Monday, April 22, 2013

Battling with the darkness

If you are the praying type...lately I've been feeling a bit 'battle weary' from life... I put on my armour in the morning, and by home time, some days I've felt like I've spent most of the day fighting unseen enemies... there have been many 'stupid', unnecessary battles... I will not bow down because No weapon formed against me shall prosper! 

Memories of my nanna...

One of my friends lost his nan this week... which is sad...but she was 93 and was not sick. It reminded me of my own nanna... and how much I miss her...even after 10 years I miss her so much.

There are so many great memories she left us with...they are the treasures. Not the gifts and the material things, but the memories. Nobody can replace your nanna. Nobody. My nanna was a very special lady who had so much love for all her children, their partners and her grandchildren.

She left this earth before any of her grandchildren were married...that was one thing I prayed about as I was getting older, and still single...that my nanna would live long enough to be at my wedding. Unfortunately, she couldn't wait that long ;) I know she would be proud of all of us, and our partners...and her great grandchildren would have brought her so much joy...but it was not meant to be.

Her legacy was one of love and faith. We did not always agree on areas of our faith, but we shared a faith in the same God. And boy, was she a great example of living the life she believed God would want. Her faith was strong. Her love was strong. There was nobody like her in my life... and I will say the same for my other nanna...my nonna. Two very different women with great faith and great love. Neither can be replaced.

So, remembering the passing of my own nanna is sad, but also brings me so much joy - reliving the wonderful memories she deposited into our lives.

What kind of legacy will you leave in this world?



Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Fly like a Butterfly


Sometimes it would be great to just be like a butterfly....flying freely with the gentle wind... enjoying the fresh air and blue sky...the 'pureness' of just being. Other times you feel like you just want to climb back into the cocoon...the safe place that is warm...and just escape the world... 

The world is full of people that would try to touch your delicate wings...to prevent you from flying... or the sky becomes grey, the wind too strong...but that doesn't stop the butterfly from being who it was created to be. Sometimes we need to crawl back into our cocoons...to recuperate, get our 'groove' back... but we must only stay there a short time...we cannot escape to the cocoon and stop living. The cocoon is needed to help us regain our strength, but we need to be ready to burst out again and not be afraid to spread our wings...to rekindle our friendship with the sky and natural surroundings. 

Life is a journey...the cocoon is part of the journey, but not the destination. 
The sky doesn't always stay blue, the wind is not always gentle, but it doesn't stay the same.
When the wind is gentle and your heart is joyful, embrace this season. For when the breeze becomes strong, and the clouds grey...you can be assured that this will change...there is a promise the gentle wind will return in due time :) There is always a calm after the storm :)

For there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
(The above picture is from allbestdesktopwallpapers.blogspot.com  )

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The darkness can't hide...

So sad... seeing people who were once at or near the top of the mountain, slowly falling back....down, down, down.... they don't see the darkness for what it is... it's like confectionery...with a bitter aftertaste... but they are too focused on the sweetness they choose to forget the bitterness...

I just can't understand how people who have been in the hands of God can simply let him go... but that's free will... and it's their choice... but the fact I am aware of this...keeps me in the watchtower... it's getting quite busy in that place...but that's no surprise considering what else is going on around me and inside me.

What a year already! I know it will be a good one :) & I hope to be able to tell the stories of results of activity in the watchtower :)

Monday, January 14, 2013

What stirs me...

Sometimes I have so much burning inside me...but I can't share it because what stirs me up and gets me excited....is the stuff that freaks many people out... so I sometimes feel alone...but I know that's part of my gifting... to see beyond the normal... to be considered a freak... to be misunderstood... but what God has given me... I am extremely grateful for. I wouldn't change anything. Sometimes it does feel like a burden, but overall, I know He has trusted me with these gifts.

I am not content with the surface...I need to go beyond... I am bored by the surface stuff. I know it's important, but I just can't stand being there when I know there is so much more below the surface... that is where I love to be!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Warriors, Ready!

This has been an interesting week... my watch tower has been active, but not as much as it could have been...then something seemed to suddenly change. The timing seems bitter sweet...

This week, things have really begun to stir near my watch tower. There is a lot going on below...some of it excites me, some concerns me...but I know it's all good. The General is about to call all standing in watchtowers to get ready for some BIG things. The time to watch and wait is coming to an end. The time to stand up and fight is fast approaching...big things are coming... something big is stirring... it's exciting, but reality sets in and says, "Be ready to be uncomfortable".

As much as we did not desire the milk or even thickshakes...as much as we yearned for the steak... it is now time to completely skip the milk and go straight to the steak. In the past the steak was not always easy to access...we are surrounded by people who need the milk...to grab a steak was to eat alone... this will continue, but we need to spend more time eating alone in order to be more effective... we need to be ready for battle. We need to keep our armour on us day and night...because the call to war...can come any time...and there are many wars waging... we are chosen warriors. We are called to fight different wars...sometimes we fight the same wars...but there are so many, that in our own area, we are called to the wars waging near our watch towers.

This is already feeling like a big year...something is awakening from it's slumber... we need to be on guard :)

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Year of the Lord's Favour

I feel I have been given my theme for 2013:

Isaiah 61:1

New International Version (NIV) (Thanks www.biblegateway.com!)

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners.

Last year I felt I was on the verge of something...but it wasn't the right time... I think I was being prepared... 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

More Green Smoothies

I just have to say I like the fact that all yesterday I had No interest in other snacks... I had been 'snacking' on my green smoothie (in the fridge) every time I felt hungry....and when I had a small chocolate, I didn't really want it or enjoy it.

My body is loving this new experiment :)