The Story of Daisy and Lily

 This creative story was inspired around 2012. It is metaphorically based on a real friendship that was impacted by mental health issues. There are two sides to every story - this story is based on my feelings and thought processes at the time.

This is the story of two friends, Daisy & Lily. Daisy lived in a lovely house with a white verandah and white picket fence.
Sometimes her friend Lily would walk past and see Daisy sitting on her verandah. When Daisy saw Lily, she would walk down her path to her picket gate and greet Lily. They would have great chats and leave
each other’s company feeling happy.

One day, Lily walked to Daisy's house, but before she could reach the gate, Daisy walked inside. Lily knew Daisy could have days where she didn’t want to talk to people, so she kept walking that day.
The next day, the same thing happened. Lily did not know what to do, so she decided to knock on Daisy's door to see if she was ok. Daisy did not respond, so Lily continued on her way.

It seemed to Lily that Daisy was going through a rough time and did not want to talk to Lily, so Lily left notes in Daisy's mailbox to let her know she cared. Daisy did not respond.

After a few occasions of Lily walking by and not seeing Daisy, there came a day when Daisy was again sitting on her verandah. Lily saw this, and decided to walk up to the gate and say Hello. Daisy ignored Lily! So Lily continued on her way...

A few days later, Lily walked up to the gate, and Daisy was again sitting on her verandah. Again, Lily said, "Hello". This time Daisy glared at Lily, as if the friendly gesture was an offense. Lily began to find walking past Daisy's house difficult. She tried not to avoid Daisy, because they were good friends, but the rejection was becoming too much. There were times when Daisy would see Lily coming, and look towards a neighbour to begin a conversation, so as to avoid Lily completely.

Lily finally stepped aside. The constant rejection from Daisy had reached its limit. She had tried to let Daisy know she cared, but to no avail. At one point, Daisy spoke very loudly to a neighbour - as Lily was passing by - that placing notes in the mailbox was offensive and not good enough. That was the last straw for Lily. As much as she cared for Daisy, she valued her self-respect more... so she began to take a different path that did not pass Daisy's house.

Daisy had been too busy not letting others into her world, that she rejected those who cared about her. In the end, her friends felt so rejected, they could not take any more rejection. They did not allow themselves to be in situations where they could experience rejection... which made the one doing the rejecting even more angry... but that was something only one person could change.

So... even though Lily changed her route to avoid further rejection and emotional abuse, she didn’t stop caring for Daisy. She felt Daisy needed time and space to work through her issues, so gave Daisy space to do so, hoping she would be able to again walk by that gate soon. To experience an, "Hello" instead of a scowl. It took much time for the "Hello" to return... although the friendship was now fractured.

After thought:
Mental illness is very real. Please don't take your friends for granted - Their feelings and mental health are just as valued as yours. 🦋©️

A Beautiful Lesson in Compassion

Today I found myself explaining Dementia to a man with an intellectual disability. Why? Because he was genuinely concerned about another client's behaviour... he asked why they kept swearing, and why they were yelling at an imaginary person, etc. It actually turned out to be a beautiful experience. 

He was able to understand enough to ask further questions, such as, "Can the doctor help them get better?", "Will it kill them?"...  and expressed genuine compassion towards his peer, knowing their brain wasn't working like ours, and some of the behaviours that caused. He accepted the suggestion that we need to try to be more patient with this peer...and know they can't help doing funny things, and they don't mean to upset us. 

I was so blessed by this fairly short, but effective conversion between this client, another staff and myself. It made me think, if this man with an intellectual disability can try to not only understand something as significant as dementia, but also express compassion.. what is wrong with our world... people are so busy with themselves, they forget to treat others as they would like to be treated. Many react in anger, instead of looking to see what may have caused somebody to upset them. Many forget there can be underlying reasons, such as invisible illness, trauma, even just simple fatigue behind another's actions.

If a man with an intellectual disability can express this genuine compassion and desire for understanding... what's our excuse? 🦋

(I chose the above image from my camera...it reminds me of the mind gently & slowly switching off...)

"A Man Called Otto"

 

"Based on the comical and moving New York Times bestseller, A Man Called Otto tells the story of Otto Anderson (Tom Hanks), a grumpy widower whose only joy comes from criticizing and judging his exasperated neighbors. When a lively young family moves in next door, he meets his match in quick-witted and very pregnant Marisol, leading to an unexpected friendship that will turn his world upside-down".  https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/a_man_called_otto

 I recently saw this movie with my mum and sister. I wasn't sure what to expect, apart from it being a comedy of sorts. It was much more! What a beautifully constructed story...yes, it was funny, but it was also sad, relatable and thought-provoking. When the end credits rolled, nobody in the cinema moved! Everybody just sat there in a peaceful silence... It was just amazing how one movie could touch so many people. My sister said the man behind her was crying. I think everybody cried. 

It was funny seeing Otto behave as a grumpy, old man. It was also touching to see the underlying reasons for his grumpy facade. He had a tender heart, and his actions towards others, although rough and often abusive- had caring undertones. He was a good man, who just needed somebody to penetrate his outer shell. 

The reality of mental health and grief were addressed. How good people often struggle, and how important it is to just 'persist' - a simple "Hello" when passing by, or an invitation to lunch, knowing the answer will probably be a gruff No. 

It makes you think... How many people push others away simply because they are hurting? How many hard shells hide a soft interior? Sensitive and caring people who can't find a way to be happy - who just need a little help by being loved and seen by those around them.  

This is a very touching, funny and thought-provoking movie. Prepare to laugh - and bring tissues!

***TRIGGER WARNINGS*** "IF", MENTAL HEALTH

***SPOILER ALERT***

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* If you struggle with infertility (IF), just be aware this is respectfully addressed in the movie. 

* There are references to suicide that may affect some people. The scenes are thoughtful and respectful, but they are there. 

****END WARNINGS/ALERT****

The "Golden Rule"

 I've been pondering this topic for some time... the Golden Rule - "Treat others the way you want to be treated". 

It sounds simple enough... treat others with kindness and respect. If you don't want it done to you, don't do it to others. However...in this current season, this has been quite a challenge! An assignment of sorts.

So, for me personally, the Golden Rule during the last few years has been re-phrased to, "Treat others the way you want to be treated, not the way they treat you!".  

Seriously, this has been a tough season! Dodging so many "fiery arrows" (Ephesians 6:16). They've come from unexpected sources, and been the drive to be on guard and maintain a heart of forgiveness. That sounds easy, right? Forgiveness is not too hard when it's a one-time offense...but when you find yourself repeatedly forgiving the same offense from the same source/s, it becomes tiring... and you find yourself relying on God's grace to help you maintain a clean heart. Because it's much easier to have an unclean heart. My prayer, as previously mentioned, has been to maintain a clean heart (Psalm 51:10). Forgiving others may not change them, but it keeps my heart clean. We can't pray for others if we have offense in our heart towards them. Forgiveness is a choice. Even if we don't feel it, our decision to maintain a forgiving heart will eventually bring the feelings. 

Part of my challenge is to accept that my side of the story doesn't need to be told. My story is just as valid, but God is the only validation I need. In the end, God knows all, and He is above all. My challenge is to maintain a peaceful and clean heart, because we do not fight against flesh and blood. The battle is the Lord's. (Ephesians 6:12). I want no regrets. I just want to please my Father in heaven. 

I hope this encourages somebody. 🦋 

The vast, bombarding "menu" of information

 I'm sure I'm not the only person who has felt bombarded with information during the last few years. The problem was not necessarily that the information was bad, but there was just so.much. Of course, we can't forget the inundation of 'helpful' information presented, and posted by misinformed people who were often driven by fear during the last season. This post is not about that.

What I'm talking about is the vast menu of good information. For example, the many social media pages of Christian ministers, musicians and general quote pages. They are all good...but how many of us actually have time to pay full attention to so many posts, articles, videos, etc from so many sources?

My frustration has been other people trying to "force feed" me good "food" from a menu I have already chosen from. It's like, I have chosen a main meal, and they want me to eat the dessert or entree they have chosen for me. Or even a different main meal. I'm satisfied with my choice, and I don't need anything else. 

There have been many pastors and ministers I've followed on social media, but over the years have unfollowed, as they no longer belonged on my journey. There is nothing wrong with them, I just stopped paying attention, which suggested I no longer needed their voice in my life. Last week, I realised I routinely ignore and scroll past a certain pastor's posts. So...I unfollowed them. Their "food" no longer sustains me. That's ok. The menu is vast, and I know many others are sustained through their "food". They are serving their purpose, and that's good. 

We are all on our own journeys. There are seasons where where we will enjoy certain items from the menu, then seasons where we choose a different option. That's how we grow. Even babies need to move on from milk to solids. It's natural progression.

Sometimes it feels as though social media is a tool to force us to eat from the entire menu, when it is not only physically impossible, but mentally impossible. If it doesn't bring you growth or joy, why do you keep ordering from that section of the menu? If the dessert just sits there uneaten, maybe you should remove it? You won't enjoy it, and gluttony isn't good either, physically or spiritually. 

Something I've also noticed...when you unfollow a page that no longer serves you, it opens up menu items you hadn't previously noticed! Add to that, unfollow a "Negative Nancy" and suddenly the news feed is flooded with positivity! Sometimes you discover menu items you hadn't previously considered, and they provide what you need. But...you needed to make room! 

I deliberately don't tell people to watch, listen to, or read anything unless I know they are interested. I became fed up with people sending me these things, publicly and privately. Often with no explanation of why they think I should pay attention. I refuse to open a video unless the sender takes time to explain why they think I should. Even then, sometimes I decline. That's because I know what I want from the menu. Additionally, if I do send something to a friend myself, always with an explanation, I don't get offended if they decline. It goes both ways.

So, my questions are, What are you "eating" from the menu of information? What continues to sustain you, and what should you remove? Is there a menu item you haven't discovered because you continue to "eat" from a selection that no longer brings you joy?

Stay in your lane and enjoy your journey! 🦋

John 6:35. "I am the bread of life..." 

Bridges of Relationships

I'm sure many who are reading this have been feeling the effects of the transitional season we are in. Things are different. There is a sense of both loss and new beginnings. What I am personally experiencing, is a realignment, even shifting of relationships.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV).

I can't say it is necessarily a nice, or enjoyable experience, but in the big picture, I trust it is good. 

I have been thinking about BRIDGES regarding relationships. People often say things like, "Build bridges, don't burn them", "Be careful not to burn that bridge!" or even, "How can we rebuild this bridge?" 

Many bridges of communication or connection are burned through, among other things,  hurt, unforgiveness, misunderstandings, or simply dislike. It is so easy to burn a bridge, and much harder to rebuild, once burned. My constant prayer has been to maintain a clean, forgiving heart with no regrets.  My challenge is to actively maintain bridges of communication, even if the other party does not reciprocate. "Why?", you may ask... Because I don't want any regrets, or any hints of unforgiveness in my heart.

Although I actively choose to maintain bridges, there are some bridges in my heart that remain closed. I did not burn those bridges, nor did I close them. In order to protect my heart and help me heal from traumas, God placed a locked gate on my end of those bridges. I hold NO unforgiveness in my heart towards these people (the locked gates helped me work towards this), but God placed a lock on those gates, and I trust Him fully to maintain those gates. One day He may unlock the gates, but that is out of my hands. He holds the key. I have no intention of trying to unlock those gates myself.

Currently, I find myself in the middle of relationship changes. I don't know what caused the changes, but I do know the bridges are vulnerable. So, I have accepted that communication may possibly cease from the other end, but I have no intention of closing off my end of the bridge. Of course, this will involve continued forgiveness, and not treating others the way they treat me... but I've been travelling this mental/emotional path for some time now...so I guess I can say this bumpy path has only made me stronger and wiser. Of course it saddens me when communication breaks down, but sometimes it's best to let things go. So, I'm letting go. If I can't bring these relationships into my future, then I'm not going to waste my time and energy on something I have no control over. 

Some bridges have an Expiry, or Best Before date. Personally, I feel some bridges have reached their Best Before date, so naturally they won't be as good as they originally were. The lesson here is, as Ecclesiastes says, "There is a time for everything". That sometimes you need to simply take a 'stocktake' of your life and keep moving forward. This may involve leaving things behind that can't, or won't travel with you into the future. And that's okay. We don't need to know what the future holds. Just what is our responsibility and what isn't. So I choose to keep moving. Accept my losses, forgive those who hurt me- intentionally and unintentionally - and keep walking forward, not looking back.

If you are reading this, it's likely our bridge is ok. 

If you don't know me, my prayer is that my words encourage you.

If you are one of those who has hit my locked gates, I want you to know you are 100% forgiven. I won't open those gates, but if God ever does, I will be on the other side.  

This is a new season. Time to let go of the old and embrace the new. To fix our eyes on what is good for our souls. To follow God's will for our lives, and not compare. We all have a purpose and calling. Let's embrace this, and cheer each other on!🦋

2021 - Part 2 - Personal Bessings

2021 - Part 1 - General Reflections

Wow...what a year, hey! When people were excitedly declaring the end of 2020, I was thinking, "Things don't just get better because the clock ticks past midnight". I was praying for a better 2021, but didn't expect the first day to magically remove the dramas of 2020. 

For me, 2021 began with a season of loss and grief. In March, we were informed our friend was in the ICU after 2 big strokes. She was only 44, and one of the healthiest people we knew. I struggled to know what to pray...for healing? For a peaceful departure? I just put her in God's hands. Nobody wanted to lose her, but neither did we wish a life of suffering or loss of independence on her. In the end, God took her home. Her departure shook us deeply...and also brought people together. I know she would have loved that... People connecting, and re-connecting in shared mourning, reminding each other of their importance to each other. I also have no doubt she would have heard those precious words, "Well done, good and faithful servant".

This was also the time we were informed my father-in-law had terminal cancer... God took him home only a few months later...in May. We were so blessed to be able to travel to NSW to see him before he left us. The borders were closed a few weeks later! His passing meant I had lost both my parents-in-law. We no longer had family living in NSW. It was a huge, unexpected loss. So many "small" things stopped. No more skype calls, text messages, sending gifts & cards via Express Post... and the death of dreams that won't come to pass... You often don't realise how important and valued these "small" things are until they stop. 

Early in 2021, after the many Lockdowns of 2020, Melbourne successfully eradicated covid! We were beginning to experience a sense of our "new normal". People were beginning to socialise and enjoy exploring their surroundings again. We were venturing out, beyond restrictions we had become used to. We were seeing our families again. Churches were open, no longer solely online. Coffee catch ups were back. Complacency slowly crept in... "Don't worry, nobody has covid!" But many were still aware that could change. There was no guarantee. Some people predicted a coming "worse wave". It FELT unrealistic, but we were still on guard, in a sense.

Then...it happened. After all the suffering & hard work of Melbourne and Victoria to eradicate the virus... Outsiders with no understanding of how much we'd endured, recklessly brought it across the border. "Recklessly" may sound harsh, but at the time, Melbourne felt abused. There was little remorse from those who deliberately ignored our proven Covid-safe rules. The honeymoon was over! Those predictions of "worse" came to pass... Melbourne was no longer the "World's Most Livable City". We gained a new title, "World's Most Locked Down City". 

2021 has been a rollercoaster year. People reached their limits. Covid-fatigue became the normal. EVERYBODY was tired. Everybody was fed up with not being able to see their families and friends. Birthdays were spent in Lockdown- isolated from loved ones. Significant birthday parties were rescheduled, rescheduled...then cancelled. Weddings were up in the air again.

We needed Work Permits to go to work... PPE was ramped up. Not only were staff/carers Covid-fatigued, but our vulnerable clients displayed signs and symptoms. They coped much better during 2020. But the resilience some showed in 2021 was just beautiful. It was a challenging year, giving so much of ourselves mentally and physically. Trying to help people have a good day, despite the many restrictions and Covid-safe practices. It was a blessing to go to work, although by the end of the year, we were ALL utterly exhausted! The Christmas break couldn't come fast enough.

If 2021 were a cupcake, the vaccine was like adding choc chips made of mud. During 2020, people prayed for a vaccine. In 2021 they were threatened by the very thing they prayed for. There were so many variables, facts vs myths, etc... And minds that ran wild with whatever information they read or saw, without first checking the facts. Fear-mongering and division became very evident. People became divided. Many made the decision to have the vaccine, after doing their research, weighing up the pros and cons, and much prayer. Many chose against it. What I've found, is Christians I know who felt to have it, felt God's Peace. Many, like me, were hesitant. But God's Peace is EVERYTHING. Many who chose against it, also have that same Peace. It's those who have little to no peace who seem to be caught up in the confusion. Nobody WANTED to have the vaccine. Most recipients felt they needed to protect those they love, the front-liners, community, and themselves. For those who have peace about the vax, the benefits far outweighed the risks. Plus, we have faith in God's protection. Without that, we wouldn't have His peace. 

Unfortunately, the vaccine mandate was enforced. We lost some great colleagues. It was a very unsettling time. I made the decision a week before the mandate was announced, so feel very blessed that I was NOT forced. It took many months for me to feel that peace. But when it came, it never left. It took faith...and now for myself, and many others who have crossed that bridge, there is no turning back. 

If you are still unsure of the vaccine, I challenge you to stop listening to ALL voices for a day or so, then only listen to a few voices you trust- who will give you honest and factual information. Because, any voice with a biased agenda will just steal your peace and feed your confusion. Then make your decision, either way, WHEN you feel peace. You are responsible for YOUR decision, nobody else's. Also, don't forget to love those who have chosen differently. 

I love a quote I recently heard, 

"It takes faith to HAVE the vaccine,

and it takes faith NOT to have the vaccine".

 

Now that the new variant is out there, it looks like we won't enjoy the feeling of living in a "Covid-free" state again, or at least not in the near future. But we also won't experience the same kinds of Lockdowns we've endured during the last 2 years. I honestly think lockdowns won't be as effective, as many Covid-fatigued people have reached their limit, and blatantly ignore the rules. To healthcare workers like me, it's disrespectful and selfish, but clearly evident that Covid-fatigue is real and people are greatly impacted. 

It feels that 2022 will need to be a year of LOVE. People are worn out... We need to positively reconnect as a community. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Melbourne should be proud- we DID IT! We suffered. We endured. We didn't give up, although it would have been easy. The majority of people did the right thing, and now we're all reaping the rewards of freedom and reconnection. Let's not forget how hard we fought for this.

We don't know what 2022 holds, but I feel more hopeful and expectant than I did on 31st December 2020. 

Thanks for enduring the rollercoaster! Here's to a happier, more connected 2022! 🦋

Communication Styles and Loving Others

Something this season has highlighted for me is the communication styles of people on social media.

The Bible says, "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:35. 

One simple, yet vital word in that phrase... LOVE. It appears that through this pandemic, many Christians have forgotten how to love. The sad part is they probably don't even recognise it.

When I think about communication styles, I often think about the different versions of the bible. Most people are aware of the King James Version (KJV). The olde worlde language consisting of thees and thous. But this is not the first choice for most bible-reading Christians. There are other versions that use modern language. The version(s) we use comes down to personal preference. 

In my view, at one end of the spectrum of bibles is the KJV, and at the other end, The Message Bible (MSG). The MSG uses modern day language, to the point it reads like a story. It is relatable. You don't need a dictionary or thesaurus to understand what you are reading. Often it is a good translation to compare with others. 

Having said that, I deliberately use the MSG communication style on social media. I want to be relatable. I want people who read my words to understand what I am communicating, with no feelings of judgement or segregation. I want to be a positive voice in the sea of negativity.

There are many who deliberately use the KJV communication style. Unfortunately, this style often carries with it a sense of judgement and fear. There is no feeling of love. There is love in their motive, but it does not carry into the audience. Many readers, including other Christians, feel judged and attacked through this communication style.

This pandemic has caused much fear and confusion. There are voices everywhere, even when you're not actively listening. I call this "chatter", and I'm done with it! Positive and negative chatter. Since I decided to ignore ALL chatter, my peace has returned. 

What we need in this season, more than ever is love. 

We shouldn't need words to tell people we are Christian. Our actions and attitudes should do that. We should be recognised because of our love for others. It is not our place to judge. Our job is to simply love. 

What a different world...

Well, it has been quite some time between posts, hasn't it!

You'd think a global pandemic, and continuous lockdowns would give me more time to write...and I guess that's true, but it has also been exhausting.

I've been blessed to be an Essential Worker, so life hasn't changed much in my household. Both of us go to work, have our social tanks filled daily, and don't feel lonely or the need to physically connect with other people. It helps to be introverts in this season. 

I am aware there are others who feel the opposite. It is tough. Lockdown 6, which was supposed to last 7 days...has been extended so many times, we've lost track of what day we're at! It has been at least a month... I think...

The world has changed. People are becoming angry and selfish. Judgemental and defensive. I don't believe it's necessarily on purpose. I think most people are just TIRED. Covid-fatigued. At least, that's how it is in Melbourne. Drivers are cutting other drivers off when there is no traffic to wait for. They're not thinking when they begin to drive. People of faith are attacking others of the same or different faiths. People are refusing to respect others. There is so much fear and uncertainty. So much anxiety.

The enemy has found "cracks" and has been creating division among people of faith. If I am honest, there are only two places where I feel safe: home and work. They are the only places where everybody is on-board with protecting each other. Everybody treats each other with the same respect and value. Nobody wants to encourage the virus in any way. 

As always, I look for the rainbows- because there is always a rainbow when you look for one! Sometimes God even shows me a tangible one. Most times, I feel the rainbow in my heart. 

We're all tired... If I could say one thing to encourage anybody feeling Covid-fatigued, I would say to simply Be Kind. Kindness doesn't cost much. You never regret being kind, but you might regret your words or actions through retaliation, hurt or anger. Plus, one simple act of kindness could be the one thing to make another's day. 

Stay strong and safe. And Be Kind. 

Friends...reason, season or lifetime

Today I bumped into 2 old friends in the same centre. One was excited to see me - and I her! The other only warranted a respectful hello, and nothing more. Isn't it funny how people change.

One friend organised a catch up (because I was working at the time), and the other was simply 'there'.

All my life I have seen the relevance of the concept that

FRIENDS are for
a reason;
a season;
or a lifetime.  

During the last 2 years I have seen this so clearly....and sometimes it has been quite sad to let friends go. But when you remember this concept, it is much easier to accept the changes.
Sometimes you don't want to let friends go, but trying to keep them seems to take up more emotional energy than God expects of us. That's when you need to let them go. When the emotional drain and strain are not worth the results you receive. When you know you've tried, but it seems nothing will change unless the other person also tries. So you need to let them go. It's also true of the quote: "If you love something/somebody let them go". It's not easy...but sometimes it's all you can do. Sometimes they return...others times they do not. They are the reason and seasonal friends. While the reason or season was ripe, the friendship was too. But once the reason or season came to an end...you had the accept the inevitable....and let them go.

Sometimes I wonder whether we are to let friends go because we need to make room for new ones...for new seasons in our lives... other times I can see that friends who I truly valued, were only in my life for a short time. Not because they were bad people, but their purpose in my life, and mine in theirs was no longer required. Unfortunately, sometimes these friends have become 'dark' and tried to put black in my rainbows...but God designed the rainbows - and helped me to remove the black, or removed the black himself.

I must admit that some of the blackest ones have previously been some of the brightest colours. But they were only seasonal friends... there is no longer a place in my rainbow for them. But that is ok. I understand the reasons. Sometimes it hurts to let friends go... but it is the only option.

Sometimes friends who never really left, but drifted away... return when you least expect!

I need to remind myself of the good times with some old friends. The enemy loves to try to cause rifts and hurts, but when you remember God's purposes, you know everything works together for good (Rom 8:28).

Having said that, I'm looking forward to catching up with my old friend again :)

Picture: httpsencrypted-tbn1.gstatic.comimagesq=tbnANd9GcSJBYo6AJNlmEaWDyb84Miqb1dI_OPlseDs3IebtGOAZbgsMjoX0w

More Reading... Crossing Over

I have begun and bought many books in the last month... and I have finished 2! (& begun more!)
The latest book I've finished: Crossing Over by Paul Scanlon.
This book is more about a church 'crossing over' from being old and stale, to a new and relevant church. He speaks about the different ways people react, how you will definitely find people who refuse to support you, and how you find those who surprisingly support you. It's all about change for a greater purpose.

For me, this book was more about my life, not the church. Yes, our church is going through many changes...we have new ministers who are doing an amazing job of moving the church forward, but naturally, this brings about change. There are many reactions to change...and it has been an interesting journey.

One analogy I liked was that of Onan and Tamar in the bible. Onan refused to obey the 'rules of the day'. He obeyed as far as marrying his widowed sister-in-law, Tamar, but refused to give her a child to keep the family name going. This was a cultural no-no. It could bring ridicule to the family line.
He appeared to be doing the right thing, but when nobody was looking, he 'threw away the seed', making it impossible for Tamar to have a child.

The Tamars, on the other hand, do the right thing, both behind the scenes and in public.
These are the people who 'search for God wherever he is'. They don't need somebody to tell them what is right, they know, and they seek it out for themselves.

If nothing else, the main thing I gained from this book is that I want to be a Tamar. I want to continue to seek God where he leads me... to follow and fulfil my calling... to keep moving forward... to follow the prompts even when my flesh doesn't agree with my spirit... to just keep moving forward :)

Life

Sometimes in life you walk through a door but leave it open....only to later discover somebody else shut the door while you had your back turned... 

Behind a smile...

I just wanted to write about my experience after work today.
I went to my usual petrol station, after visiting my parents, and as I was paying, the girl behind the counter said, "You have a very beautiful smile". I was taken back, and could only reply, "Thanks", but it got me thinking about my life - the story behind my smile.

There are many reasons for me to be bitter....but I am not bitter. Things in my story have not made me bitter, but better.

My smile is not always deliberate, but it is real. I have my Jesus... he has been with me every second of my life - he has been through the rubbish and through the joy. He has brought healing to my wounds. He has truly brought beauty from the ashes.

So, as I finish this post, I begin to wonder about other people's smiles... it is not necessarily those with no trials who smile the brightest. Often it's those who have been through the trials of life, and come out through the other side - out into the sunshine.

I have been through some dark places, but they never robbed me of my smile.
I guess my smile is a testimony of God's grace and love in my life :)

The silver lining of Blooming Where You Are Planted

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=269881403131008&set=a.142822539170229.27785.142821199170363&type=1&ref=nf

The text says:

"God has put you where you are for a reason.
You are there to inspire, to bless and create 
a positive influence.
You are there to be
His hand, feet and mouth
Because He can use you to carry out His work.
Continue to be a blessing". 

Don't waste your petals

This rose... is the rose from the movie, Beauty & The Beast. 

The beast was given this rose after being enchanted from a Prince into an Hideous Beast. This was punishment for his his dark, hard heart. The only way of breaking the spell was to love, and be loved in return. His time limit was his 21st birthday, when the last petal would fall. If he did not break the spell by then, he would remain a beast forever. At the time, breaking the spell seemed hopeless.

Recently, God reminded me of this rose. He said, every person in this world is like that rose. Each of us is given the gift of life.

Like the rose, we all have a time limit. Like the rose, if we don't make the most of what we have before the last petal falls.... we have no second chance.

I felt God say that, like, in the story, each of us is given a chance.... each of us has a Belle in our lives - Jesus is our Belle. Our saviour. The one who can help us understand love and the reason for living.

We are not under some spell, but we do need to find Jesus before our last petal falls.
Like Belle, Jesus is the only one who can 'break the spell' leading to eternal despair... 

Baby Rachael

The theme of “baby/child killers” is back in the news… this time the father who bashed his daughter to the point of death (‘accidentally’) has been sentenced to a further few years of jail. I think he was originally sentenced to 8yrs, now he has 11yrs.

People are so adamant to point the finger and accuse this man for being such a horrible human being… they are determined to not only see him behind bars… but put away for a long time. And see “justice”. The main theme of the media and people's reactions is that he is a bad person who has no heart. They seem to deliberately forget he is a Person. He was sentenced to jail...months ago, and has been in custody for already more than a year... but no, that was not enough. Now he has been re-sentenced to "set a new standard" that child killers must be severely punished.

Please don't think I support his actions... it's just harder when you know the person...

But what about the child’s mother????
Does anybody care about her?
It seems the media are too busy pointing the finger to consider the whole picture...

This particular man who has been in the papers was somebody I knew. His wife was the best friend of my brother’s ex girlfriend. She is beautiful and so young…

Does anybody care that she has been hurt too?
Does anybody care that she has just been robbed of the best years of her 20’s?
Do they care that she has to live through the emotions of what her husband has done too?
They don't seem to care that this girl has been robbed of seeing her baby grow up... and now her husband is gone. Not gone for good, but behind bars. She has to deal with all this...

Do they care or do they just want to judge. Nobody knows the full story. Nobody knows both sides of the story like they do. I am not condoning what he did. He is paying for his actions, but he is only one part of the puzzle.

This young, beautiful girl has been wronged, and she has a future ahead of her. I just pray she is able to enjoy the rest of her 20’s despite what has happened, and despite the that she won’t be sharing it freely with her husband. He was a nice guy…I guess nice guys can make deadly mistakes too…

I never saw baby Rachael at close distance, but people told me she was a really beautiful baby. My mum particularly said she was soooo beautiful.
We don’t know why God allowed such a tragedy, but he did. I pray they both come out of this better people…

The Small Things

Isn’t it amazing these days, how one small smile or “Thank you” can really make your day. We seem to be living in a selfish world, where people generally don’t care too much about the small courtesies. We are too busy trying to get through the day sometimes to even say thank you.

People do their jobs to earn their pay, despite the environment or customers. People eat at restaurants and treat the waiters as if they are paid to be there, so there is no reason to appreciate them.

Supermarket checkout chicks…how many of them smile when they say, “Hi, how are you?” In fact, in many cases, how many of them actually LOOK at you when they say this?

My pet hate is when people don't bother to say a simple "Hi" at the beginning of a text message. How hard is that? It's like they show they don't really care, even before they begin... they just go straight to the point as if you are a machine... I am NOT a machine ;) I have feelings.

People seem to be forgetting the small things…

...and now the positive side ;)

Recently, I was at Brunettis (Italian café and patisserie) with a group of girls, and one of them said to me, “That waiter really likes you!” and I thought, despite the fact he was Italian, and they often pay attention to young girls, I thanked him every time he cleared our table. I didn’t think much of that. But my friend said he obviously appreciated being recognised.

On Saturday I was having lunch at a Noodle Box with David… there was a mum with her 2 teen girls sitting at the next table. They seemed pleasant people, and when they left, I noticed they cleared their table in an appreciative manner. They had a paper bag for prawn crackers, and placed all their rubbish in the bag, and stacked up their bowls.
Many people don’t bother doing that.

Then they thanked the staff as they walked out.

How often do men walk in front of a lady to get through a doorway first? I can’t count the number of times a man has expected me to wait for him to go first, or to even hold the door open! It’s sad.

I was at the Hairhouse Warehouse recently when the lady who served me hardly looked at me. She was too busy talking to other staff, or looking at what they were doing. She told me the price, and because she wasn’t looking at or even listening to me, it wasn’t until then that she was aware I had a discount card… the small things…

On Saturday night I went out to dinner at an Asian restaurant with my Filippino and Malaysian friends… I was the ‘white girl’ ;) and the service was wonderful! The waitress served us with a smile every time, she refilled our tea cups…she was just NICE. Smile, courtesy… she looked after us well. In the end we gave her a tip ;)

It just makes you more aware of how much impact the small things have on our days. A simple “thank you” or even just a smile at a stranger… you never know how much people appreciate being acknowledged and appreciated. The hardest area to acknowledge and act on this is of course...in our own homes... it's an effort but it's worth it.

Being nice doesn’t seem to be ‘normal’ any more…but it sure does make a difference in our world!