2022 Reflections

Another year almost over. I remember last December, writing in expectation of a better year ahead. I anticipated a year of metaphorically needing to wear a seatbelt. My perceptions were right...I had no idea just how much of a rollercoaster 2022 would be! The Holy Spirit has been my "seatbelt" - my calm, security, protection, guide... So much has happened this year, but I am blessed to have stayed on the path set before me. There were many temptations to ignore my internal sense of direction. Situations, circumstances and attitudes...spiritual attacks against my peace, joy and hope. In the end, I am proud to say I listened to the Holy Spirit, that still, inner voice, and did not go where God did not send me, nor stay where His grace no longer covered me. 

One lesson I learned, was My side of the story does not need to be told. God has my back, and that is all that matters. That's not an easy lesson to embrace...so I am happy that I was able to "Let go and let God" in various circumstances. My biggest challenge was to have no regrets, and for the most part, I succeeded.

I did not at all anticipate moving on from the church family I had loved and served for 8 years. Earlier this year, God made it very clear that our season there was over. It was bittersweet - leaving friends who were like family, but also moving forward in unexpected ways. Obediently letting go of the known and embracing the unknown. 

For those who are wondering, we chose to leave quietly, with our pastors' blessing. We entered a new season at Planetshakers. It has been a refreshing change for us. A change we did not plan or expect, but God's plans are always the best, aren't they!

I continued with Jennifer Eivaz's Australian & New Zealand Prophetic Company. What an amazing group of people to know and experience life with! I'm excited to be attending the Seers and Dreamers Gathering in Sydney in the new year. I'm especially excited that I will finally meet in person some beautiful friends I've made through this online community.

2021 included many deaths of family and friends. I'd hoped 2022 would be different... But that was not the case. We lost clients to covid and others to covid-related circumstances. We lost more family members... and as the Commonwealth lost their 96 year old matriarch whom we felt would be with us forever, we lost our beloved 97 year old Nonna- whom we also felt would be with us forever. The worst part was Covid was her cause of death. This mighty, strong, Italian woman was overcome by a virus. I didn't get to visit her in the covid ward - I made plans to visit, but she passed away during the night before. I felt such an unusual sense of peace after her death. That was a huge encouragement to this intercessor who had invested countless hours in prayer for her. 

2022... Another year of holding on to unfulfilled promises. A year of trusting in the unknown. A year of change... of rest and growth. 

Another year of Covid-fatigue and uncomfortable PPE. I won't go into this - just know healthcare workers still have to work under strict Covid guidelines and regulations. Covid is real. We're still tired. 2022 added the dimensions of tragic loss & grief into my workplace.

Much more has happened on this rollercoaster of 2022. This year brought much change, but also many blessings. It was a year of changing my foundations while remaining grounded. It was a challenging year. I choose to focus on the happy moments, and look forward to seeing where this path continues into 2023, with a personal theme word: FRESH. 

Happy New Year! 🦋

(The photo is of our feijoa tree 😀).

November

 I can't believe November is almost over! What a year. I had so many ideas of what to write about, but as I sit down to begin...my mind has gone blank! Almost a year ago, I took on the challenge to post monthly. I have almost completed a full year! So, I'll just leave this here, and prepare for a more interesting December post 🦋

The "Golden Rule"

 I've been pondering this topic for some time... the Golden Rule - "Treat others the way you want to be treated". 

It sounds simple enough... treat others with kindness and respect. If you don't want it done to you, don't do it to others. However...in this current season, this has been quite a challenge! An assignment of sorts.

So, for me personally, the Golden Rule during the last few years has been re-phrased to, "Treat others the way you want to be treated, not the way they treat you!".  

Seriously, this has been a tough season! Dodging so many "fiery arrows" (Ephesians 6:16). They've come from unexpected sources, and been the drive to be on guard and maintain a heart of forgiveness. That sounds easy, right? Forgiveness is not too hard when it's a one-time offense...but when you find yourself repeatedly forgiving the same offense from the same source/s, it becomes tiring... and you find yourself relying on God's grace to help you maintain a clean heart. Because it's much easier to have an unclean heart. My prayer, as previously mentioned, has been to maintain a clean heart (Psalm 51:10). Forgiving others may not change them, but it keeps my heart clean. We can't pray for others if we have offense in our heart towards them. Forgiveness is a choice. Even if we don't feel it, our decision to maintain a forgiving heart will eventually bring the feelings. 

Part of my challenge is to accept that my side of the story doesn't need to be told. My story is just as valid, but God is the only validation I need. In the end, God knows all, and He is above all. My challenge is to maintain a peaceful and clean heart, because we do not fight against flesh and blood. The battle is the Lord's. (Ephesians 6:12). I want no regrets. I just want to please my Father in heaven. 

I hope this encourages somebody. 🦋 

The vast, bombarding "menu" of information

 I'm sure I'm not the only person who has felt bombarded with information during the last few years. The problem was not necessarily that the information was bad, but there was just so.much. Of course, we can't forget the inundation of 'helpful' information presented, and posted by misinformed people who were often driven by fear during the last season. This post is not about that.

What I'm talking about is the vast menu of good information. For example, the many social media pages of Christian ministers, musicians and general quote pages. They are all good...but how many of us actually have time to pay full attention to so many posts, articles, videos, etc from so many sources?

My frustration has been other people trying to "force feed" me good "food" from a menu I have already chosen from. It's like, I have chosen a main meal, and they want me to eat the dessert or entree they have chosen for me. Or even a different main meal. I'm satisfied with my choice, and I don't need anything else. 

There have been many pastors and ministers I've followed on social media, but over the years have unfollowed, as they no longer belonged on my journey. There is nothing wrong with them, I just stopped paying attention, which suggested I no longer needed their voice in my life. Last week, I realised I routinely ignore and scroll past a certain pastor's posts. So...I unfollowed them. Their "food" no longer sustains me. That's ok. The menu is vast, and I know many others are sustained through their "food". They are serving their purpose, and that's good. 

We are all on our own journeys. There are seasons where where we will enjoy certain items from the menu, then seasons where we choose a different option. That's how we grow. Even babies need to move on from milk to solids. It's natural progression.

Sometimes it feels as though social media is a tool to force us to eat from the entire menu, when it is not only physically impossible, but mentally impossible. If it doesn't bring you growth or joy, why do you keep ordering from that section of the menu? If the dessert just sits there uneaten, maybe you should remove it? You won't enjoy it, and gluttony isn't good either, physically or spiritually. 

Something I've also noticed...when you unfollow a page that no longer serves you, it opens up menu items you hadn't previously noticed! Add to that, unfollow a "Negative Nancy" and suddenly the news feed is flooded with positivity! Sometimes you discover menu items you hadn't previously considered, and they provide what you need. But...you needed to make room! 

I deliberately don't tell people to watch, listen to, or read anything unless I know they are interested. I became fed up with people sending me these things, publicly and privately. Often with no explanation of why they think I should pay attention. I refuse to open a video unless the sender takes time to explain why they think I should. Even then, sometimes I decline. That's because I know what I want from the menu. Additionally, if I do send something to a friend myself, always with an explanation, I don't get offended if they decline. It goes both ways.

So, my questions are, What are you "eating" from the menu of information? What continues to sustain you, and what should you remove? Is there a menu item you haven't discovered because you continue to "eat" from a selection that no longer brings you joy?

Stay in your lane and enjoy your journey! 🦋

John 6:35. "I am the bread of life..." 

Look past the obstacles

 This morning, as I was waiting to cross the road, I looked to my left, to this construction site. The road currently leads nowhere. My first thought was, "Who builds these paths that flood so easily!" 

Then God interrupted, saying, "But you can cross that road, can't you? If you wanted to get to the other side, you would find a way". Then He reminded me that sometimes this is how the enemy works. He places roadblocks in our paths. It looks difficult to cross, but when you discern these roadblocks, nothing stops you from crossing! When you are on the right path, you will find obstacles popping up, trying to slow you down, or stop you from crossing, altogether. The water may wet your shoes, but it can't stop you from crossing, unless you give it that power.

"Small minded" people will see that water, and walk the other way. They will miss the blessing of pushing through. Not those who are secure in their God-given authority. These are the warriors who will walk through (or leap over!) that water, and then walk around the obstacles...they are undefeated by the enemy's tactics. When the path is clear, obstacles just become challenges to overcome. 

Let's not be "small minded". Let's choose to always look beyond the challenges of life, and find a way. When you face an obstacle, take God's hand and allow Him to guide you through. There will always be a way! 🦋

New season, new shoes

I recently resumed catching the train to work, after almost a year of driving. I missed the exercise, but discovered my "walking" work shoes were well past their expiry date. So, I replaced them, and the new pair are sooooo much more supportive (& clean!). 

Seeing my 2 pairs of shoes together, I was reminded of the changing seasons in life- we have begun a new season, and it is clear the old season was "well worn". It was full of good things - growth, struggles, joys. Good friendships and investing our gifts to our church. But, like the shoes, the season had an expiry point. These old shoes are well-worn. They have scratches & holes that let the water in when it rains. Their support has worn, meaning I could inflame an old achilles injury, with continued use. They are no longer useful for the current season. We need new "tools" for a fresh purpose. 

The new shoes not only look better, but feel better. They are well-suited for the current season. We would be silly to try to carry last season's "tools" into the new season. Sometimes we just need a small confirmation of the new in our lives. New shoes mean new purpose, a new journey. Moving forward, progressing, and not falling down or returning to the past- seriously, who would want to wear old shoes when you have new ones? 

I would love to wear prettier shoes to work, but I am blessed with a practical job, and these shoes are "fit for purpose". 

The old, worn shoes represent a good, full and active season. They fulfilled their purpose. It's now time to leave them behind and enjoy this new journey! 🦋

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!" ~Isaiah 43:18‭-‬19a NIV

Blessings everywhere!

This morning while in church, God gave me the sudden realisation that even though I've been feeling in the middle of a slow whirlwind, surviving, coping, choosing joy, standing... SO MANY good things have been happening too. I was reminded of the bible verse, Amos 9:13: 

“Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills..." Amos 9:13 MSG. (Emphasis mine).

People have been prophesying this during the year, but I didn't realise this new season has brought this kind of action to my life! 

I didn't relate to not being able to keep up. Suddenly, things are changing, happening, moving! We have moved. We didn't expect, or plan this new season to begin in a new church family. However, this one act of obedience triggered the beginning of the breakthroughs. Things are happening fast! The whirlwind is receding. New joys are coming, my heart is refreshed. Warfare has picked up, but that makes sense! We are in a joyful, new season. 

I also had a dream last night that really surprised me! Previously, I've talked about doors to friendships that God has locked. I still trust Him with the keys. I dreamed that one door is no longer locked. I'll be honest, the door was locked about 20 years ago, and I was led into an inner healing journey- which changed my life in amazing ways. But that door needed to be locked. I learned about soul ties. The person on the other side did try to initiate communication various times, and my mentors in their wise, motherly wisdom, strongly reminded me the door needed to stay closed. It was tough. That person would not know how hard it was for me to not engage, to not open the door even just a crack... it took strength & courage to trust God with that door. They probably thought I was heartless & uncaring, which is hard not to be able to defend. The truth is, I did care- which was why it was initially so hard to trust the door to stay locked. Yes, that person deeply hurt me, but I forgave them long ago. I won't go out of my way to open the door, but knowing it is no longer locked is a strange feeling. I did not see this coming! 

My heart is in anticipation for what is coming. Doors have closed, but new doors have opened! 2022 has not been the year we expected, but now we are running with this new season of blessings! 🦋

Mid-year Musings about Covid

It is almost the end of July, and I haven't felt an urge to post about anything in particular. I think it's because my mind has been so full... Much of this last month has been exhausting, emotionally & mentally. I haven't been able to keep up with things important to me, and it frustrates me! 

So, we are halfway through 2022. My world is very different to how it was at the beginning of this year. I have experienced so many changes. I have seen first-hand the reality of Covid on loved ones and people in my care.

Like many healthcare workers, I am frustrated by the lack of care and complacency towards Covid. I recently began catching the train to work, after almost a year of driving. I stopped taking public transport because of the blatant disregard of 90% of passengers towards covid safety. I missed the walking, and didn't like the work carpark. So again, I stand out for following the rules. Yes- RULES. I hate standing out for doing what is mandatory for all. But Covid is REAL, so I will continue to keep myself (and others) as safe as I can. I stand by my own convictions. 

Covid-safe practices do not end when I finish a shift. I don't finish work then throw caution to the wind. EVERY waking moment, I am aware of how my actions or inactions can impact on others- and their lives. Therefore, I choose to accept the ridicule for taking lives seriously. I know 2 vulnerable people who have died this year from Covid. One was my 97 year old Nonna (grandma). Her age was amazing. She was a very strong woman who lived a full life. But Covid is not the way we expected her life to end. The other person could have survived, but chose to die. 2 people who could still be with us- if others did the right thing.  

So, please help healthcare workers to stay safe, and reduce their workload. The work is already exhausting, then added PPE & Covid-safe practices add to the load. I don't work in a hospital, but I can tell you the extra PPE is very uncomfortable. Especially the plastic gowns that don't breathe- some days our clothes are damp, and exposed skin (eg, arms) is covered in sweat beads/moisture after removing the gowns. It's a yucky feeling. BUT we persist because our hearts are for the valuable, vulnerable people in our care.

The general public expects healthcare workers to keep them safe, and take care of them if they end up in hospital. But who is looking out for the healthcare workers? I hope you, the reader are part of that group who does.

Let's continue to keep each other safe and respected. Every life matters. 🦋

Changing seasons

Sometimes in life, you find yourself in a place that doesn't really make sense... everything leading up to that point was good, yet you find yourself at the end of a path you didn't see coming. 

It's like you were walking along a mountain path, faithfully following that path up/around the mountain. Suddenly you find yourself on a platform. The path has ended and it's time to stop and look at the view- how far you have walked along this path. Who you travelled with, who is still travelling with you... Then you look up and ask, "Where do I go now? I thought there was much more of this path to travel? What about the promises and opportunities?" 

The clear answer is, "You have walked as far as I had intended for you. It's time to rest before I reveal the new path. The promises were never for THIS path. The journey was necessary, but the promises are for the next season. You couldn't travel this new season without first travelling the path that has now ended".

It's a new season. The path was amazing, yet had an expiry point. There is no joy in remaining in a season, or on a path you no longer have the grace for. Life is full of surprises. There comes a time where staying in a comfort zone brings little comfort. You need to move on. Let go of your expectations of that season and travel the new path in faith. 

Facing a new season can be daunting, but your heart knows it's time. In order to enjoy the future, you must let go of the past. 🦋

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland". ~Isaiah 43:19 NIV

It doesn't matter HOW, just FINISH

As it appears to be Fun Run season for Melbourne schools, I was reminded of one very significant Fun Run in which I 'participated'. I was 11, had broken my wrist and was firmly told that a plaster cast was no excuse to not participate! (Can't say I didn't try! LOL!) Running has never been fun for me, but I was generally an obedient child. So...I began that "fun" run with all the other kids in my small, country school. I chose to walk.

I reached the halfway point, on that dusty, country road. After greeting the parent supervising, I decided to stay with her until the end of the race, and walk back with her. We chatted as we watched the other kids pass.

I don't recall how the other

kids proceeded. The biggest fact I remember, was I was the last person in the whole school (about 60-80 kids) to finish the course...and I was awarded FIRST PLACE for girls in my year level. I discovered that none of the other girls actually finished the course! I experienced a mix of feelings...shock, disappointment, disbelief, joy... The thought of not completing the course never crossed my mind! 

What's the point of this story? It doesn't matter how quickly you finish a course - just finish. When you have a goal, don't worry about how quicky others reach the same goal. You have your own race to run in life. Stay in your lane, don't compare with others, and don't give up. Take one step at a time, take breaks when you need them, and enjoy the journey. In the end, all that matters is that you FINISHED the course. You may have different skills and methods to complete a task, just complete it. Like 11 year old me, you may receive a big surprise when you reach that finish line! 🦋

 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.               ~ 2 Timothy 4:7

Beside Still Waters

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters, He refreshes my soul. Psalms 23:1‭-‬3 (Emphasis mine).

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is for modern society to "be still"? People are so busy with life, it feels like a challenge to take a break or rest. Sometimes we even skull our tea or coffee, instead of savouring it for a few minutes.

Have you also noticed how it's difficult for many Christians to stop and "be still" in God's presence? (Psalm 46:10). We all have our busy schedules, To-Do Lists, distractions and honestly, simple disobedience that compete for our attention. It's not that we don't want to... it's just much easier to give in to the distractions, isn't it? 

I love watching water... It's so relaxing and refreshing. To hear the trickling stream, or waves lapping the shore. How many of us, in our busy days yearn for the quiet, despite not feeling able to find it? 

Although I love watching the waves, I'm not a beach lover... Like Anakin Skywalker, "I don't like sand..." But send me to a river, or a fountain, and I'm in my happy place. 

Most of the time I am not able to be near a physical river, but the river comes to me! Sometimes the river is in my car. I can sit quietly in God's presence, soaking in worship, preparing for the day ahead. Or my lounge, streaming music from my tv or device. There have been many times where this kind of river experience has been my biggest weapon. When it feels like the waves are crashing around me, threatening to overcome me, wherever I am becomes my still water. Sometimes music stills my heart, and gives me the strength to face the day. I'm certain, if I did not spend these quiet times at the river, I would have lost a good portion of my joy. However, I know without a doubt where my joy comes from, and there is an everlasting flow. It's free and available to anybody who asks.

Many of us are feeling the need for refreshment in this season. We've been in battles, good battles, but are now needing that rest that only comes from God. He wants to give us that rest. He wants to refresh us and prepare us for our next season. What I am currently learning, is rests are part of the Battle Plan. While we sit beside the water, we are not idle. There is such purpose in this kind of rest. The enemy may try to taunt us and tell us otherwise, but he is a liar and very afraid of what is beyond this season of rest and preparation! 

I sense God challenging us all, "Will you sit with me beside the water?"  

Bridges of Relationships

I'm sure many who are reading this have been feeling the effects of the transitional season we are in. Things are different. There is a sense of both loss and new beginnings. What I am personally experiencing, is a realignment, even shifting of relationships.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV).

I can't say it is necessarily a nice, or enjoyable experience, but in the big picture, I trust it is good. 

I have been thinking about BRIDGES regarding relationships. People often say things like, "Build bridges, don't burn them", "Be careful not to burn that bridge!" or even, "How can we rebuild this bridge?" 

Many bridges of communication or connection are burned through, among other things,  hurt, unforgiveness, misunderstandings, or simply dislike. It is so easy to burn a bridge, and much harder to rebuild, once burned. My constant prayer has been to maintain a clean, forgiving heart with no regrets.  My challenge is to actively maintain bridges of communication, even if the other party does not reciprocate. "Why?", you may ask... Because I don't want any regrets, or any hints of unforgiveness in my heart.

Although I actively choose to maintain bridges, there are some bridges in my heart that remain closed. I did not burn those bridges, nor did I close them. In order to protect my heart and help me heal from traumas, God placed a locked gate on my end of those bridges. I hold NO unforgiveness in my heart towards these people (the locked gates helped me work towards this), but God placed a lock on those gates, and I trust Him fully to maintain those gates. One day He may unlock the gates, but that is out of my hands. He holds the key. I have no intention of trying to unlock those gates myself.

Currently, I find myself in the middle of relationship changes. I don't know what caused the changes, but I do know the bridges are vulnerable. So, I have accepted that communication may possibly cease from the other end, but I have no intention of closing off my end of the bridge. Of course, this will involve continued forgiveness, and not treating others the way they treat me... but I've been travelling this mental/emotional path for some time now...so I guess I can say this bumpy path has only made me stronger and wiser. Of course it saddens me when communication breaks down, but sometimes it's best to let things go. So, I'm letting go. If I can't bring these relationships into my future, then I'm not going to waste my time and energy on something I have no control over. 

Some bridges have an Expiry, or Best Before date. Personally, I feel some bridges have reached their Best Before date, so naturally they won't be as good as they originally were. The lesson here is, as Ecclesiastes says, "There is a time for everything". That sometimes you need to simply take a 'stocktake' of your life and keep moving forward. This may involve leaving things behind that can't, or won't travel with you into the future. And that's okay. We don't need to know what the future holds. Just what is our responsibility and what isn't. So I choose to keep moving. Accept my losses, forgive those who hurt me- intentionally and unintentionally - and keep walking forward, not looking back.

If you are reading this, it's likely our bridge is ok. 

If you don't know me, my prayer is that my words encourage you.

If you are one of those who has hit my locked gates, I want you to know you are 100% forgiven. I won't open those gates, but if God ever does, I will be on the other side.  

This is a new season. Time to let go of the old and embrace the new. To fix our eyes on what is good for our souls. To follow God's will for our lives, and not compare. We all have a purpose and calling. Let's embrace this, and cheer each other on!🦋

Don't underestimate "the pause".

Somebody reminded me I haven't posted in a while...they were right! So I'll get a February post in before the calendar flips to March in less than 2 hours! (I should be asleep...shhh!) Haha!

What a crazy year...and it's only February. Yesterday I was looking at some sheet music...something I'm ashamed to admit I haven't done in far too long. The rest marks were highlighted to me. I felt God remind me that some of the most beautiful music includes times of RESTS. They could be short, such as semi-quaver length, half bars or full bars, but they are ESSENTIAL to enhancing the beauty of the song.

This season has been exhausting, and I've really treasured the times I could simply rest. Another way of saying rest, is to Pause. We need to take moments to breathe, to feel, to be filled, to release...  Just like music, our lives need times of rest.  Don't underestimate "the pause". 🦋

Exiting the Cocoon

Many people have been wondering where I've been, and if I'm ok. 

I am great, and haven't gone away.

I have been in a short season of rest. I had been living and breathing in an heightened  warfare mode for so long, I didn't realise just how intense the battle was - until I was called out.

Suddenly, God took me out of the battle and said, "It's time to rest". 

So that's where I've been. In a new cocoon. There is always warfare, but not every battle needs to be fought. 

I have loved this cocoon, but the purpose of a cocoon is to prepare. You can't stay in a cocoon and expect to become a butterfly! So, I have been in preparation of a new season. My wings have been strengthened and expanded. I don't know what this season will bring, but I know I am not the same person who went into the cocoon. 

If God didn't call me out of the battle, I would still be in it. It was my normal. I would have obediently continued fighting. But now I have been on the sidelines, I know there is a new battle. To everything there is a season (Ecclesiastes 3). 

I'm grateful for this cocoon season, but now my heart knows it's time to push out and spread my wings again.

I don't know what this new year holds... I have expectations, but ultimately I am in the hands of my creator. If He is not in it, I don't want it. I look forward to seeing where He sends these new wings. 🦋

God's Freight Train of Love

Have you ever felt like you've been hit by a freight train of God's love?

That's how I've been feeling the last few days...overwhelmed... peaceful... hopeful... greatly encouraged.

Life has not been easy, but I live in expectation that things won't stay the way they are, or the way they have been.

God has used strangers to speak into the deepest places of my heart. I've been quietly asking Him to confirm His promises through others... because I have been holding on to these promises for such a long time... You begin to question if you really did hear His voice, or if it's just wishful thinking. 

Then He lovingly crashed into my heart like a freight train! He undid me... He answered my prayer in the most unexpected, encouraging way. He went above and beyond my expectations. 

Before anybody said anything, He showed me something in a familiar picture I had never paid attention to, but suddenly became so meaningful. A path. A long path. One that 2 of us have been walking along, together. God showed me that we have come a looooong way together. The future is closer than it has ever been. The path does end. When, I don't know. But the time to hope and find that joy has come. Change is coming. Dreams will be fulfilled. Promises will come to pass.

Don't be afraid to ask God anything... He knows your deepest, unspoken desires, hopes, dreams, fears and hurts. He only wants the best for us. 

I pray He hits you with his freight train of love! You won't be the same 💜🦋