Exiting the Cocoon

Many people have been wondering where I've been, and if I'm ok. 

I am great, and haven't gone away.

I have been in a short season of rest. I had been living and breathing in an heightened  warfare mode for so long, I didn't realise just how intense the battle was - until I was called out.

Suddenly, God took me out of the battle and said, "It's time to rest". 

So that's where I've been. In a new cocoon. There is always warfare, but not every battle needs to be fought. 

I have loved this cocoon, but the purpose of a cocoon is to prepare. You can't stay in a cocoon and expect to become a butterfly! So, I have been in preparation of a new season. My wings have been strengthened and expanded. I don't know what this season will bring, but I know I am not the same person who went into the cocoon. 

If God didn't call me out of the battle, I would still be in it. It was my normal. I would have obediently continued fighting. But now I have been on the sidelines, I know there is a new battle. To everything there is a season (Ecclesiastes 3). 

I'm grateful for this cocoon season, but now my heart knows it's time to push out and spread my wings again.

I don't know what this new year holds... I have expectations, but ultimately I am in the hands of my creator. If He is not in it, I don't want it. I look forward to seeing where He sends these new wings. 🦋

Reflections on 2019

I wrote this on my Facebook page yesterday, New Year's Eve:

"2019... you have been one bumpy ride! But no path worth travelling is simple. There have been many unexpected bumps, potholes and detours on the road this year...but many of us have just kept travelling. Trusting the path... trusting that no setback would be too hard... and choosing to move forward. So here we are...at the end of 2019, and we can smile that we made it! We survived the bumpy ride, and whatever is on the other side of the door (2020) is a fresh, new page of a new chapter. Stay strong, and don't lose hope. This bumpy ride prepared us for greater things!"

2019 was a big year! A year where God's peace & joy we're proven many times in my heart. Where I found myself facing unexpected challenges that could have turned my world upside down...or given me the strength to keep walking along the bumpy path with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.
I chose the latter. Despite the trials, I can joyfully say God has me in the palm of His hand. He only wants the best for me and my family...and no matter what, He supplies all my needs. 2019 tested that belief, and only made my faith increase.

I learned what it is like to fully trust God with my finances. I faced the possibility of being made redundant. I knew in my heart that whatever the result, I would be ok. As challenging and unsettling as it was, I maintained peace in my heart. The morning of our individual meetings to tell us if we still had our jobs, and if our hours would be changed... I took the train and enjoyed the walk  to work. My heart was peaceful and hopeful. I saw a rainbow as I was nearing work. That was God's still, small voice saying, "I have you covered".
I still have a job, but lost a significant amount of hours... But seeing how things have turned out, I know God knew the best outcome for me, even if it was initially disappointing. I can still cover my bills, and have the opportunity to make up hours when available. So, it turned out ok.

2019 was also a milestone year for me. I turned 40. I still don't know how 40 is supposed to feel, but I'm sure it's not how I feel! People can't believe my age, which is nice.  Life has not gone the way I expected. I never thought I'd be childless at 40. The Bible says, in his heart man plans his steps, but it's the Lord's plan that prevails. 2019 certainly proved that.

This is more of a highlight reel of the many challenges faced during the year. There were many things that unsuccessfully tried to steal my joy. Many times I felt mentally and physically exhausted...but I always saw a rainbow when I needed reassurance and hope. 

There was a period of withdrawal. I lost interest in things I previously enjoyed...struggled to reply to messages and emails... I didn't realise the significance of my behaviour until my naturopath labelled it. She turned on the lightbulb of realisation. There were times I just couldn't understand my own behaviour... The fatigue that was unrelated to previously medically diagnosed fatigue. 2019 gave me experiences of being human in ways I previously never knew.

2019 was a year of testing and growth. A bumpy road, but a road worth travelling. The end of a decade.

I know that whatever 2020 holds, there will always be a rainbow when I need one...I will always be surrounded by love, and God will supply all my needs.
I am hopeful of promises coming to pass....to experience the "double portion blessings" related to "2020".

Goodbye Chapter 2019... Hello new chapter 2020!

2017

Happy New Year!
I can't believe 2016 has only one post...partly because I was busy, and partly because I had trouble logging back in.

Well, maybe that is also a reflection of the kind of year it was... very challenging, on many levels.
Not long ago, when I was speaking to my pastor about our challenges, she said, "There is no victory without a battle".. so here I am, in the second day of a new year, knowing that victory is inevitable!

At the end of 2015, I asked God for a word for 2016. My personal theme word. He gave me JOY. It was definitely a word in season. Despite the challenges of 2016, I never lost my joy. As true as this is for ALL days, and ALL seasons, The joy of the Lord truly was my strength in 2016.

This year my word is HOPE. I didn't focus much on asking for this word...He began to instil it in my heart towards the last few months of 2016.

So, as I continue to stay strong in the joy of my Lord, I now maintain my HOPE in Him.

2016 was possibly one of the toughest years of my life to date...but I know it was a season. Seasons end. Now the season of 2017 has begun, and I know the challenges of 2016 have only made me stronger...I look forward to the answers and opportunities in 2017.

One thing I know without a doubt, is I married the right man. 2016 was tough for both of us, but we were strong in unity. We never lost our joy for more than a moment, and we were blessed many times through God's provision and protection. When the waves were crashing around us, we were secure on the Rock.

If you are still single, don't rush to marry - the RIGHT one is well worth the wait! (That is another story ;) ) 

December thoughts

Wow... where did December go? Where did the year go?? I did eventually get into the Christmas spirit... and I must say how amazed I was to see and feel that people generally picked up on the spirit of joy & goodwill, etc. Initially I was disappointed that people were showing much selfishness and anger towards others...on the road, in car parks, in the shops...then I was pleasantly surprised by the change...there was a real joy in the air, everywhere I went! It was awesome :) Christmas was an interesting time. Happy memories and many changes. It was a good time. I never expected to say this, but I am looking forward to the end of this season....and the beginning of a new year. Much has happened this year...many changes. I expect more changes in the new year, but different changes. I am looking forward to closing the door of 2013 behind me, and walking through the door of 2014. I know it holds great things - some things were not available until we lived through 2013. Now it's time to take hold of the new :) A new season is about to begin, and I'm ready!

The Year of the Lord's Favour

I feel I have been given my theme for 2013:

Isaiah 61:1

New International Version (NIV) (Thanks www.biblegateway.com!)

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners.

Last year I felt I was on the verge of something...but it wasn't the right time... I think I was being prepared... 

Happy New Year 2011!!

My theme for January: Don't be afraid to walk through the door open before you! 

2011 is a new year. An unopened book that has now been opened. It's time to start the journey and put the words on the paper! God knows what the pages hold, but we need to walk through them and experience them.


This will be another great year of blessings and joy- if that's what you expect!:)

As my minister quoted on Sunday, God "knows the plans he has for you. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future". (Jeremiah 29:11)

Already I know of people who have lost loved ones this year...and my family is approaching our 6th anniversary of nanna's death. It still feels like yesterday.... I don't understand why God would allow people to begin the year with such sorrow...but then again, maybe those who died weren't able to hold on any longer...that makes it more understandable. Still, it's sad. My nanna died tragically, and unexpectedly. Her time came and nobody could do anything to change that. I'm sure all the family at one time or more has wished they could've been with her to stop her accident...but we weren't there and we can't go back. I loved my nanna so much. She was a big part of my life. 


I can't believe it has been 6 years... but the 80years prior to that were more important! I knew her for only 26 of those 80 years, but we both had an impact on each others' lives. I was her first grandchild. She lost her husband 2 years prior to my birth, and she said I gave her a new lease on life. When she met me...she said my baby eyes said to her that everything would be alright. She never stopped telling me that story....and now she's not here to tell me, my parents continue to tell me. That simple story brings joy and special memories.


I didn't expect this post to go this way! Enjoying the memories:)


Hope you are all enjoying the beginning of your new year!