Lately God has been showing me how far I have come from who I became 10 years ago....how I changed because of circumstances....how my heart was broken and I felt God had abandoned me in my biggest time of need...
...but he never left me for one second. No, I wasn't able to feel his presence, and I felt my cries for help were echoing against the wall...but he simply allowed me to experience something he knew I could handle....and he knew I would later see he did not abandon me. He was there all the time...but he allowed me to experience the consequences of an innocently made bad choice... and just when I felt I could take no more, he suddenly showed up and ended it.
It's funny when you remember a time of being on one side of a fence....and you yearn so badly to be on the other side... and then one day you realise you are on the other side! It took a long time to get there, a lot of 'heat surgery' and just crawling into God's lap and letting it go... but it came. It was hard work. It was tough. It took a lot of courage to get through.... but I did it :)
Now, I see a friend going through the same kind of 'heart surgery' I had to go through... different reasons, but the same God who wants to strip away all our hurts and pain....because he knows it will make us stronger, and we will feel so much better for it.
My friend is so beautiful, with so much to offer this world. She is a real treasure, and I really want to see her get to the other side of the fence like I did. It's not a fun time to be in God's presence, having parts of you stripped away, but when you look back, it is one of the most precious memories in your life....a time when you were so close to God... a time when you could let go and be totally raw....and know he would help you get out all the black stuff in your heart...be a child cradled in his arms, protected 'under his wing'... believe it or not, your journey has been encouraging me by bringing back memories of places I have been, but have now left behind.
So, if you're reading this, beautiful friend - I do know what it's like to be stripped raw... I feel so blessed to be able to pray for you and just be there for you. I know how hard it can be - but you can do it :) You have already come so far :) You are strong! Don't let the enemy tell you you're weak because you are a Child of God! He has already gone before you and knows what is to come - he will not let you walk a path, or go through a door unprepared :)
...but he never left me for one second. No, I wasn't able to feel his presence, and I felt my cries for help were echoing against the wall...but he simply allowed me to experience something he knew I could handle....and he knew I would later see he did not abandon me. He was there all the time...but he allowed me to experience the consequences of an innocently made bad choice... and just when I felt I could take no more, he suddenly showed up and ended it.
It's funny when you remember a time of being on one side of a fence....and you yearn so badly to be on the other side... and then one day you realise you are on the other side! It took a long time to get there, a lot of 'heat surgery' and just crawling into God's lap and letting it go... but it came. It was hard work. It was tough. It took a lot of courage to get through.... but I did it :)
Now, I see a friend going through the same kind of 'heart surgery' I had to go through... different reasons, but the same God who wants to strip away all our hurts and pain....because he knows it will make us stronger, and we will feel so much better for it.
My friend is so beautiful, with so much to offer this world. She is a real treasure, and I really want to see her get to the other side of the fence like I did. It's not a fun time to be in God's presence, having parts of you stripped away, but when you look back, it is one of the most precious memories in your life....a time when you were so close to God... a time when you could let go and be totally raw....and know he would help you get out all the black stuff in your heart...be a child cradled in his arms, protected 'under his wing'... believe it or not, your journey has been encouraging me by bringing back memories of places I have been, but have now left behind.
So, if you're reading this, beautiful friend - I do know what it's like to be stripped raw... I feel so blessed to be able to pray for you and just be there for you. I know how hard it can be - but you can do it :) You have already come so far :) You are strong! Don't let the enemy tell you you're weak because you are a Child of God! He has already gone before you and knows what is to come - he will not let you walk a path, or go through a door unprepared :)
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