I'm having an unexpected stirred up time....like I was a happy frog on my lily pad, then out of the blue, other frogs on different lily pads start to say "Hi" and I see their lily pads are different - but they also resemble things I used to desire...things I strived for but could never reach... even though I was told I would be good on those lily pads, the same people refused to make room for me to join them....
It's not that I want to be on those lily pads....it's more of what I can do that is different to my current lily pad. It took 10 years for me to finally feel settled on a lily pad. I tried a few, but none felt right for more than a season. I always wanted more. Now I'm beginning to wonder what else is in the pond that I am yet to discover!
It's also about people....people you used to be close to.... but you just feel like you matter as much to them as a grain of sand. It's not so bad....in a way it's natural to move on... but it's also not right when you feel excluded to the point you feel the door should close, but it can't close under the current circumstances....I hope that makes sense....if not, at least I know what I mean! haha! There are spiritual undercurrents...
The worst part is I have seen it before with the same people....and I didn't think it was right how they treated another member of the group.... now I find myself in that same position. As I said, it's not so bad. It's just that because I've seen it before, I understand it better.....even if it does suck.
Oh well, in order for one door to fully open, sometimes another door needs to close.
I love my new group of friends. My new church family. It feels like family - when we are apart for too long, I miss them. These people understand me. We relate to each other in ways others don't understand.
One thing we can guarantee in life is CHANGE....
I guess while I'm still alive, there will always be more lily pads to discover and explore....in the right seasons :)
It's not that I want to be on those lily pads....it's more of what I can do that is different to my current lily pad. It took 10 years for me to finally feel settled on a lily pad. I tried a few, but none felt right for more than a season. I always wanted more. Now I'm beginning to wonder what else is in the pond that I am yet to discover!
It's also about people....people you used to be close to.... but you just feel like you matter as much to them as a grain of sand. It's not so bad....in a way it's natural to move on... but it's also not right when you feel excluded to the point you feel the door should close, but it can't close under the current circumstances....I hope that makes sense....if not, at least I know what I mean! haha! There are spiritual undercurrents...
The worst part is I have seen it before with the same people....and I didn't think it was right how they treated another member of the group.... now I find myself in that same position. As I said, it's not so bad. It's just that because I've seen it before, I understand it better.....even if it does suck.
Oh well, in order for one door to fully open, sometimes another door needs to close.
I love my new group of friends. My new church family. It feels like family - when we are apart for too long, I miss them. These people understand me. We relate to each other in ways others don't understand.
One thing we can guarantee in life is CHANGE....
I guess while I'm still alive, there will always be more lily pads to discover and explore....in the right seasons :)
2 comments:
Sometimes the grass is not always greener on the other side - or in this case the other lilly pad might look nice and green but it has prickles unlike your lilly pad. If your lilly pad looks and feels good to you that is the most important thing. Sometimes we wonder why we even visited a certain lilly pad - but I always think it was because there was a bigger force involved.
I believe there is always a bigger force involved :)
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