Recently, I was thinking about a post by an amazing blogger, Waiting For Baby Bird http://waitingforbabybird.com She describes the feelings of infertility, comparing it to being at an amusement park. I'll copy her analogy, then write my response.
I am one of those ladies currently stuck at the gates. It's sometimes lonely, but there are so many others stuck with me, it's also often a place of support.
We hold tightly to the promise that we WILL get our ticket, but it can be frustrating and disappointing having to wait so long. Years for many of us. But we continue to wait in faith.
But... I am also making lemonade. Some of us at the gates are choosing to make lemonade from the lemons that life has thrown at us. The lemons keep coming, but so does the lemonade.
So, please don't take it lightly when we offer you some lemonade over the fence. For us, the lemonade is sweet, because our attitude is genuine. We love you and are genuinely happy that you are enjoying the amusement park. But it's still breaks our hearts that we are not joining you.
We offer our lemonade in many ways, each cup representing an emotional cost. Some of our lemonade comes as a "Like" of a pregnancy or birth announcement, or even photos of your family on social media. It's attending your baby shower, or even spending time with you & your baby. It could be us being brave enough to share our journey with you.
As I said, each cup of lemonade comes with an emotional cost. It costs because being at the gates is tough. Each "Like" or "Congratulations" is often followed by feelings of, "What about me?" Why not me?", or "Why am I STILL waiting?" Crushing reminders that we are still stuck at the gates. Any lady at the gates would be lying if she didn't occasionally have those thoughts.
It's so easy to compare ourselves with others. It's even harder when you see somebody walk to the gates & see them motioned to the front of the line. They didn't even have to wait for their ticket! So again, please understand that when we offer you our lemonade, even if the cup is only half full... it is a piece of our tender heart, and we choose to offer it to you.
So, from a lady still waiting for her ticket, please don't take your ticket for granted. But please also don't hold back from us stuck at the gates. We often feel left out, with no control over when we'll have our tickets. We are cheering you on, hoping to join you one day soon. Until that day, we will continue to make lemonade at the gates.
"What is infertility like?
It's like going to an amusement park and you don't have a ticket. And no matter how much you try, plead or beg you can't get one. So instead, you must stand back at the gates, and watch everyone laugh, play and enjoy the rides. You can hear the music, smell the cotton candy on the breeze, and see the joy all around you, but you cannot partake in all of the fun.
It's frustrating.
It's more than heartbreaking.
It's feeling completely left out".
I am one of those ladies currently stuck at the gates. It's sometimes lonely, but there are so many others stuck with me, it's also often a place of support.
We hold tightly to the promise that we WILL get our ticket, but it can be frustrating and disappointing having to wait so long. Years for many of us. But we continue to wait in faith.
But... I am also making lemonade. Some of us at the gates are choosing to make lemonade from the lemons that life has thrown at us. The lemons keep coming, but so does the lemonade.
So, please don't take it lightly when we offer you some lemonade over the fence. For us, the lemonade is sweet, because our attitude is genuine. We love you and are genuinely happy that you are enjoying the amusement park. But it's still breaks our hearts that we are not joining you.
We offer our lemonade in many ways, each cup representing an emotional cost. Some of our lemonade comes as a "Like" of a pregnancy or birth announcement, or even photos of your family on social media. It's attending your baby shower, or even spending time with you & your baby. It could be us being brave enough to share our journey with you.
As I said, each cup of lemonade comes with an emotional cost. It costs because being at the gates is tough. Each "Like" or "Congratulations" is often followed by feelings of, "What about me?" Why not me?", or "Why am I STILL waiting?" Crushing reminders that we are still stuck at the gates. Any lady at the gates would be lying if she didn't occasionally have those thoughts.
It's so easy to compare ourselves with others. It's even harder when you see somebody walk to the gates & see them motioned to the front of the line. They didn't even have to wait for their ticket! So again, please understand that when we offer you our lemonade, even if the cup is only half full... it is a piece of our tender heart, and we choose to offer it to you.
So, from a lady still waiting for her ticket, please don't take your ticket for granted. But please also don't hold back from us stuck at the gates. We often feel left out, with no control over when we'll have our tickets. We are cheering you on, hoping to join you one day soon. Until that day, we will continue to make lemonade at the gates.
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