Beside Still Waters

 

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters, He refreshes my soul. Psalms 23:1‭-‬3 (Emphasis mine).

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is for modern society to "be still"? People are so busy with life, it feels like a challenge to take a break or rest. Sometimes we even skull our tea or coffee, instead of savouring it for a few minutes.

Have you also noticed how it's difficult for many Christians to stop and "be still" in God's presence? (Psalm 46:10). We all have our busy schedules, To-Do Lists, distractions and honestly, simple disobedience that compete for our attention. It's not that we don't want to... it's just much easier to give in to the distractions, isn't it? 

I love watching water... It's so relaxing and refreshing. To hear the trickling stream, or waves lapping the shore. How many of us, in our busy days yearn for the quiet, despite not feeling able to find it? 

Although I love watching the waves, I'm not a beach lover... Like Anakin Skywalker, "I don't like sand..." But send me to a river, or a fountain, and I'm in my happy place. 

Most of the time I am not able to be near a physical river, but the river comes to me! Sometimes the river is in my car. I can sit quietly in God's presence, soaking in worship, preparing for the day ahead. Or my lounge, streaming music from my tv or device. There have been many times where this kind of river experience has been my biggest weapon. When it feels like the waves are crashing around me, threatening to overcome me, wherever I am becomes my still water. Sometimes music stills my heart, and gives me the strength to face the day. I'm certain, if I did not spend these quiet times at the river, I would have lost a good portion of my joy. However, I know without a doubt where my joy comes from, and there is an everlasting flow. It's free and available to anybody who asks.

Many of us are feeling the need for refreshment in this season. We've been in battles, good battles, but are now needing that rest that only comes from God. He wants to give us that rest. He wants to refresh us and prepare us for our next season. What I am currently learning, is rests are part of the Battle Plan. While we sit beside the water, we are not idle. There is such purpose in this kind of rest. The enemy may try to taunt us and tell us otherwise, but he is a liar and very afraid of what is beyond this season of rest and preparation! 

I sense God challenging us all, "Will you sit with me beside the water?"  

Bridges of Relationships

I'm sure many who are reading this have been feeling the effects of the transitional season we are in. Things are different. There is a sense of both loss and new beginnings. What I am personally experiencing, is a realignment, even shifting of relationships.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens... Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV).

I can't say it is necessarily a nice, or enjoyable experience, but in the big picture, I trust it is good. 

I have been thinking about BRIDGES regarding relationships. People often say things like, "Build bridges, don't burn them", "Be careful not to burn that bridge!" or even, "How can we rebuild this bridge?" 

Many bridges of communication or connection are burned through, among other things,  hurt, unforgiveness, misunderstandings, or simply dislike. It is so easy to burn a bridge, and much harder to rebuild, once burned. My constant prayer has been to maintain a clean, forgiving heart with no regrets.  My challenge is to actively maintain bridges of communication, even if the other party does not reciprocate. "Why?", you may ask... Because I don't want any regrets, or any hints of unforgiveness in my heart.

Although I actively choose to maintain bridges, there are some bridges in my heart that remain closed. I did not burn those bridges, nor did I close them. In order to protect my heart and help me heal from traumas, God placed a locked gate on my end of those bridges. I hold NO unforgiveness in my heart towards these people (the locked gates helped me work towards this), but God placed a lock on those gates, and I trust Him fully to maintain those gates. One day He may unlock the gates, but that is out of my hands. He holds the key. I have no intention of trying to unlock those gates myself.

Currently, I find myself in the middle of relationship changes. I don't know what caused the changes, but I do know the bridges are vulnerable. So, I have accepted that communication may possibly cease from the other end, but I have no intention of closing off my end of the bridge. Of course, this will involve continued forgiveness, and not treating others the way they treat me... but I've been travelling this mental/emotional path for some time now...so I guess I can say this bumpy path has only made me stronger and wiser. Of course it saddens me when communication breaks down, but sometimes it's best to let things go. So, I'm letting go. If I can't bring these relationships into my future, then I'm not going to waste my time and energy on something I have no control over. 

Some bridges have an Expiry, or Best Before date. Personally, I feel some bridges have reached their Best Before date, so naturally they won't be as good as they originally were. The lesson here is, as Ecclesiastes says, "There is a time for everything". That sometimes you need to simply take a 'stocktake' of your life and keep moving forward. This may involve leaving things behind that can't, or won't travel with you into the future. And that's okay. We don't need to know what the future holds. Just what is our responsibility and what isn't. So I choose to keep moving. Accept my losses, forgive those who hurt me- intentionally and unintentionally - and keep walking forward, not looking back.

If you are reading this, it's likely our bridge is ok. 

If you don't know me, my prayer is that my words encourage you.

If you are one of those who has hit my locked gates, I want you to know you are 100% forgiven. I won't open those gates, but if God ever does, I will be on the other side.  

This is a new season. Time to let go of the old and embrace the new. To fix our eyes on what is good for our souls. To follow God's will for our lives, and not compare. We all have a purpose and calling. Let's embrace this, and cheer each other on!🦋

Don't underestimate "the pause".

Somebody reminded me I haven't posted in a while...they were right! So I'll get a February post in before the calendar flips to March in less than 2 hours! (I should be asleep...shhh!) Haha!

What a crazy year...and it's only February. Yesterday I was looking at some sheet music...something I'm ashamed to admit I haven't done in far too long. The rest marks were highlighted to me. I felt God remind me that some of the most beautiful music includes times of RESTS. They could be short, such as semi-quaver length, half bars or full bars, but they are ESSENTIAL to enhancing the beauty of the song.

This season has been exhausting, and I've really treasured the times I could simply rest. Another way of saying rest, is to Pause. We need to take moments to breathe, to feel, to be filled, to release...  Just like music, our lives need times of rest.  Don't underestimate "the pause". 🦋

Exiting the Cocoon

Many people have been wondering where I've been, and if I'm ok. 

I am great, and haven't gone away.

I have been in a short season of rest. I had been living and breathing in an heightened  warfare mode for so long, I didn't realise just how intense the battle was - until I was called out.

Suddenly, God took me out of the battle and said, "It's time to rest". 

So that's where I've been. In a new cocoon. There is always warfare, but not every battle needs to be fought. 

I have loved this cocoon, but the purpose of a cocoon is to prepare. You can't stay in a cocoon and expect to become a butterfly! So, I have been in preparation of a new season. My wings have been strengthened and expanded. I don't know what this season will bring, but I know I am not the same person who went into the cocoon. 

If God didn't call me out of the battle, I would still be in it. It was my normal. I would have obediently continued fighting. But now I have been on the sidelines, I know there is a new battle. To everything there is a season (Ecclesiastes 3). 

I'm grateful for this cocoon season, but now my heart knows it's time to push out and spread my wings again.

I don't know what this new year holds... I have expectations, but ultimately I am in the hands of my creator. If He is not in it, I don't want it. I look forward to seeing where He sends these new wings. 🦋

God's Freight Train of Love

Have you ever felt like you've been hit by a freight train of God's love?

That's how I've been feeling the last few days...overwhelmed... peaceful... hopeful... greatly encouraged.

Life has not been easy, but I live in expectation that things won't stay the way they are, or the way they have been.

God has used strangers to speak into the deepest places of my heart. I've been quietly asking Him to confirm His promises through others... because I have been holding on to these promises for such a long time... You begin to question if you really did hear His voice, or if it's just wishful thinking. 

Then He lovingly crashed into my heart like a freight train! He undid me... He answered my prayer in the most unexpected, encouraging way. He went above and beyond my expectations. 

Before anybody said anything, He showed me something in a familiar picture I had never paid attention to, but suddenly became so meaningful. A path. A long path. One that 2 of us have been walking along, together. God showed me that we have come a looooong way together. The future is closer than it has ever been. The path does end. When, I don't know. But the time to hope and find that joy has come. Change is coming. Dreams will be fulfilled. Promises will come to pass.

Don't be afraid to ask God anything... He knows your deepest, unspoken desires, hopes, dreams, fears and hurts. He only wants the best for us. 

I pray He hits you with his freight train of love! You won't be the same 💜🦋

2021 - Part 2 - Personal Bessings

2021 - Part 1 - General Reflections

Wow...what a year, hey! When people were excitedly declaring the end of 2020, I was thinking, "Things don't just get better because the clock ticks past midnight". I was praying for a better 2021, but didn't expect the first day to magically remove the dramas of 2020. 

For me, 2021 began with a season of loss and grief. In March, we were informed our friend was in the ICU after 2 big strokes. She was only 44, and one of the healthiest people we knew. I struggled to know what to pray...for healing? For a peaceful departure? I just put her in God's hands. Nobody wanted to lose her, but neither did we wish a life of suffering or loss of independence on her. In the end, God took her home. Her departure shook us deeply...and also brought people together. I know she would have loved that... People connecting, and re-connecting in shared mourning, reminding each other of their importance to each other. I also have no doubt she would have heard those precious words, "Well done, good and faithful servant".

This was also the time we were informed my father-in-law had terminal cancer... God took him home only a few months later...in May. We were so blessed to be able to travel to NSW to see him before he left us. The borders were closed a few weeks later! His passing meant I had lost both my parents-in-law. We no longer had family living in NSW. It was a huge, unexpected loss. So many "small" things stopped. No more skype calls, text messages, sending gifts & cards via Express Post... and the death of dreams that won't come to pass... You often don't realise how important and valued these "small" things are until they stop. 

Early in 2021, after the many Lockdowns of 2020, Melbourne successfully eradicated covid! We were beginning to experience a sense of our "new normal". People were beginning to socialise and enjoy exploring their surroundings again. We were venturing out, beyond restrictions we had become used to. We were seeing our families again. Churches were open, no longer solely online. Coffee catch ups were back. Complacency slowly crept in... "Don't worry, nobody has covid!" But many were still aware that could change. There was no guarantee. Some people predicted a coming "worse wave". It FELT unrealistic, but we were still on guard, in a sense.

Then...it happened. After all the suffering & hard work of Melbourne and Victoria to eradicate the virus... Outsiders with no understanding of how much we'd endured, recklessly brought it across the border. "Recklessly" may sound harsh, but at the time, Melbourne felt abused. There was little remorse from those who deliberately ignored our proven Covid-safe rules. The honeymoon was over! Those predictions of "worse" came to pass... Melbourne was no longer the "World's Most Livable City". We gained a new title, "World's Most Locked Down City". 

2021 has been a rollercoaster year. People reached their limits. Covid-fatigue became the normal. EVERYBODY was tired. Everybody was fed up with not being able to see their families and friends. Birthdays were spent in Lockdown- isolated from loved ones. Significant birthday parties were rescheduled, rescheduled...then cancelled. Weddings were up in the air again.

We needed Work Permits to go to work... PPE was ramped up. Not only were staff/carers Covid-fatigued, but our vulnerable clients displayed signs and symptoms. They coped much better during 2020. But the resilience some showed in 2021 was just beautiful. It was a challenging year, giving so much of ourselves mentally and physically. Trying to help people have a good day, despite the many restrictions and Covid-safe practices. It was a blessing to go to work, although by the end of the year, we were ALL utterly exhausted! The Christmas break couldn't come fast enough.

If 2021 were a cupcake, the vaccine was like adding choc chips made of mud. During 2020, people prayed for a vaccine. In 2021 they were threatened by the very thing they prayed for. There were so many variables, facts vs myths, etc... And minds that ran wild with whatever information they read or saw, without first checking the facts. Fear-mongering and division became very evident. People became divided. Many made the decision to have the vaccine, after doing their research, weighing up the pros and cons, and much prayer. Many chose against it. What I've found, is Christians I know who felt to have it, felt God's Peace. Many, like me, were hesitant. But God's Peace is EVERYTHING. Many who chose against it, also have that same Peace. It's those who have little to no peace who seem to be caught up in the confusion. Nobody WANTED to have the vaccine. Most recipients felt they needed to protect those they love, the front-liners, community, and themselves. For those who have peace about the vax, the benefits far outweighed the risks. Plus, we have faith in God's protection. Without that, we wouldn't have His peace. 

Unfortunately, the vaccine mandate was enforced. We lost some great colleagues. It was a very unsettling time. I made the decision a week before the mandate was announced, so feel very blessed that I was NOT forced. It took many months for me to feel that peace. But when it came, it never left. It took faith...and now for myself, and many others who have crossed that bridge, there is no turning back. 

If you are still unsure of the vaccine, I challenge you to stop listening to ALL voices for a day or so, then only listen to a few voices you trust- who will give you honest and factual information. Because, any voice with a biased agenda will just steal your peace and feed your confusion. Then make your decision, either way, WHEN you feel peace. You are responsible for YOUR decision, nobody else's. Also, don't forget to love those who have chosen differently. 

I love a quote I recently heard, 

"It takes faith to HAVE the vaccine,

and it takes faith NOT to have the vaccine".

 

Now that the new variant is out there, it looks like we won't enjoy the feeling of living in a "Covid-free" state again, or at least not in the near future. But we also won't experience the same kinds of Lockdowns we've endured during the last 2 years. I honestly think lockdowns won't be as effective, as many Covid-fatigued people have reached their limit, and blatantly ignore the rules. To healthcare workers like me, it's disrespectful and selfish, but clearly evident that Covid-fatigue is real and people are greatly impacted. 

It feels that 2022 will need to be a year of LOVE. People are worn out... We need to positively reconnect as a community. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Melbourne should be proud- we DID IT! We suffered. We endured. We didn't give up, although it would have been easy. The majority of people did the right thing, and now we're all reaping the rewards of freedom and reconnection. Let's not forget how hard we fought for this.

We don't know what 2022 holds, but I feel more hopeful and expectant than I did on 31st December 2020. 

Thanks for enduring the rollercoaster! Here's to a happier, more connected 2022! 🦋